Monday, April 22, 2013

24 Weeks and No Midwife

I haven't felt like a good example for BWB lately.  It's not that I am behaving recklessly or carelessly.  It's just that I have no professional caregiver right now, and I would never recommend that to any of my followers.  It's complicated.  Matt and I are keeping track of lots of things at home: blood pressure, blood sugar, oxygen, pulse, heart sounds, respiratory, fundal height, swelling (none at all), and urinalysis.  We can't hear Evangeline's heart rate on his stethoscope yet, and plan to get a fetoscope soon. Her movements get more frequent and stronger everyday, though. I need to do better on my diet and water intake as usual.  I eat so slowly and because there are so many other things pressing on me, I don't always eat as much as I should.  I'm working on it.  My weight gain is good.  I am 24 weeks along right now.

We've been in this position before.  When I was pregnant with Malakai, we were in a huge transition that was physically and emotionally stressful.  We ended up moving from CA to NY in my 3rd trimester, and decided on a midwife after we arrived.  Then, she couldn't help us with a home birth. So, I had to fight for the birth I wanted in the hospital.  It worked.  Malakai was the first water birth in that hospital, and it was nearly unattended (I say this as a good thing)!  It is good for me to reflect on that because it reminds me of how God has taken care of us in the past, and I can trust He will take care of us again this time.  That being said, I still firmly believe that his birth would've been handled better at home.  He had a meconium issue that you can see in the video below.  
At home, we would've suctioned and if he needed breaths, we have a warm tray (for a warm flat surface) ready right there so that he wouldn't have had to leave me at all and we wouldn't have had to cut his cord.  When a baby isn't breathing, he especially needs all the oxygen from his cord blood.  However, we were in the hospital.  So, they weren't set up to handle things like that.  I can't really complain as many many things were handled the way we wanted and they didn't give me much trouble at all.  We had zero separation, he slept with me and never in the crib thing, and when they were supposed to have him in the crib while we were being transported from delivery to recovery, they supported my decision to carry Malakai skin to skin inside my gown under blankets.  It's cold in the hospital!!  All things considered, we have a lot to be thankful for with our hospital birth experience.

A homebirth midwife such as a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) is my preference of caregiver.  I personally believe that CPMs are better trained in the natural birthing process, and how to most effectively care for complications without the restraints of hospital protocols.  The care they provide prevents most complications in the first place.  On the other hand, they are skilled to know when things are not safe to stay home and when to transport to the nearest hospital.  They are passionate about what they do, and are not motivated by money or time (There are exceptions, of course.), but rather are motivated to provide customized care to mom and baby/babies.  Of course, I would never argue that CPMs are the only ones that provide this level of care.  I just feel like I have the best chance of getting the care I want, if I choose a midwife such as a CPM.

Because of the ridiculous legal situation with CPMs in our area, I can't share any of the details you may be wondering about.  I will say that I will continue to take care of myself, improve my diet and water intake, and we will plan Evangeline's bubble wrapped birth as soon as we can.  There are some options we are considering.  I hate that I can't just be open and share all the details with you.  Please just pray for wisdom in these decisions that need to be made very soon.  Please pray that the best midwife for this birth will be available and we will be able to relax and just enjoy the next few months before Evangeline's birth.

Thank you so much for your support.  I know that there are many BWB mamas who would make very different choices than I am right now.  I completely respect that, and I hope you can do the same for me in return. 


  1. Sarah,

    The video is so touching to watch! I had seen things about water birth before, but after watching your experience I really believe that is what I would like whenever God gifts me the blessing of being a wife and mother. Thank you for sharing! Your family is beautiful!

    1. Thank you, Candice! Water birth is pretty amazing. I wouldn't birth any other way! :)

  2. Sarah, I was choked up by the video. At first I thought I was snooping on you and your husband so I had to get over that lol but then I blinked and you had the baby! It was so gentle and quiet that I think every baby should be born that way! Life is so full of noise, but to enter it in your Mother's arms being comforted by your Father has to be the best foundation to deal with life. I had 3 C-sections and the last two were twins so there were MANY people and noises in the room. I pray you get to experience this again!


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