We've been in this position before. When I was pregnant with Malakai, we were in a huge transition that was physically and emotionally stressful. We ended up moving from CA to NY in my 3rd trimester, and decided on a midwife after we arrived. Then, she couldn't help us with a home birth. So, I had to fight for the birth I wanted in the hospital. It worked. Malakai was the first water birth in that hospital, and it was nearly unattended (I say this as a good thing)! It is good for me to reflect on that because it reminds me of how God has taken care of us in the past, and I can trust He will take care of us again this time. That being said, I still firmly believe that his birth would've been handled better at home. He had a meconium issue that you can see in the video below.
At home, we would've suctioned and if he needed breaths, we have a warm tray (for a warm flat surface) ready right there so that he wouldn't have had to leave me at all and we wouldn't have had to cut his cord. When a baby isn't breathing, he especially needs all the oxygen from his cord blood. However, we were in the hospital. So, they weren't set up to handle things like that. I can't really complain as many many things were handled the way we wanted and they didn't give me much trouble at all. We had zero separation, he slept with me and never in the crib thing, and when they were supposed to have him in the crib while we were being transported from delivery to recovery, they supported my decision to carry Malakai skin to skin inside my gown under blankets. It's cold in the hospital!! All things considered, we have a lot to be thankful for with our hospital birth experience.
Because of the ridiculous legal situation with CPMs in our area, I can't share any of the details you may be wondering about. I will say that I will continue to take care of myself, improve my diet and water intake, and we will plan Evangeline's bubble wrapped birth as soon as we can. There are some options we are considering. I hate that I can't just be open and share all the details with you. Please just pray for wisdom in these decisions that need to be made very soon. Please pray that the best midwife for this birth will be available and we will be able to relax and just enjoy the next few months before Evangeline's birth.
Thank you so much for your support. I know that there are many BWB mamas who would make very different choices than I am right now. I completely respect that, and I hope you can do the same for me in return.