8 Things I've Learned about Love

I haven't been married for a really long time, but Matt and I have been married for 10 1/2 years, and we are still happy.  In this first decade of marriage, I've learned some things about love.  I want to share what I've learned with you.

1.  A woman needs to be cherished.  That's how you won her heart, and that's how you're going to keep her heart.

2.  A man needs to be believed in.  He is only as good as you think he is.  I have seen Matt be strong and fearless when I believe in him, push him toward his dreams and encourage him to reach his goals.  I have also seen him wilt and be depressed when I cut him down, discourage his dreams, and criticize his goals.  

3.  Love is work.  If it were easy, it wouldn't really be love.  Just like a birthing mother who works hard to receive the amazing reward of her precious baby, love must work hard through the difficult times.  Coming through those hard times stronger is a precious reward and makes all the work worth it.

4.  Fighting is sometimes good.  For me, our discussions need to reach an emotional level on both sides in order for them to inspire a change of heart in me.

5.  If your children see/hear you fighting, make sure they see you make things right with each other.  

6.  Dates are essential.  I am typing these words desperate for a date with Matt.  I need time with him.  I don't need him to buy me anything.  I don't care if all we do is go hang out at the library or walk around the mall.  I just need him away from the kids, away from the house, away from studying and work and clinicals and everything.  I just need him to focus on me, and me to focus on him without any distractions.  It's probably really good to have to wait a little for it.  We need to crave the time together instead of just taking it for granted.  

7.  I need God.  When things are hard, too hard to have a productive discussion with Matt, I need to run to my Jesus.  I can let it all out to him, cry, scream, yell, ask why.  He already sees it all in my heart.  All I'm doing is being honest on the outside about what He sees on the inside.  I am not just crying, screaming, yelling and asking why because I'm angry, then stomping away.  I am there for help.  I am there for answers.  I wait.  I calm down.  I rest.  Then, I can listen.  I find His answers in His Word, His love letter to me.  I read His promises to me and find hope to get up and go on.

8.  Love is worth it.

~ I love you, Matt Reeves. ~