Our Fifth Birth - Silas

17 weeks

31 weeks

After a very busy pregnancy with my husband's career change, a major move, many blog and facebook posts, and much prayer, the time finally came for Silas to come out and join us. . .

On Wednesday, September 21st, I started to feel like "I really want to have this baby soon!!!"  My sporadic contractions had been picking up in frequency and intensity that week.  The day before (20th), I had really begun nesting, and on the 21st I was insanely energetic.  There was crazy hyper nesting going on, and the house was looking great!!  I hit 39 weeks on the 22nd.  That weekend, I started feeling like "This baby is never going to come!  I will be pregnant forever!!"  That is significant because I always feel that way a couple of days before the baby is born. 

Grandma "Kat" helping with bedtime

Isaiah beginning to record
my contractions

Sunday night, the 25th, my contractions were getting stronger, thanks to some alone time with my husband and nursing our toddler.  In the morning, I had some bloody show and more mucus plug, but my contractions were weaker.  I was really discouraged!  I told my husband, "I feel like a car in the winter time that you keep trying to start again and again, but the engine just won't turn over!"  He sweetly and firmly replied, "No, that is not a good comparison.  When a car does that, there is something wrong with the car.  There is nothing wrong with you.  Your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do.  Don't be discouraged.  You are making progress, and getting ready to have this baby."  Well, that put me right at ease.  I love him.

Birth pool filling up next to Isaiah's bed

Matt went off to work that day ready to come home in an instant if needed.  I kept him updated throughout the day.  When we were on the porch waving to him, our oldest, Isaiah (7yrs) said, "Don't worry, Mom.  If Silas comes, I'm here."  My contractions started getting stronger that afternoon, but were 20 minutes apart.  As the day went on, they got more frequent.  Isaiah started tracking them on a paper.  That evening, I called my mother in law, and asked if she could help me with bedtime.  She came over and was a big help.  My contractions were between 5 and 8 minutes apart.  I was putting sheets on a couple of the kids beds while my mother in law fed them and got them ready for bed including reading books to them.  I would've gone crazy if she hadn't helped me through that evening!

Laboring in my bed with my phone
(I was keeping my fb crowd updated)

Matt came home as quickly as he could after he got off at 10:00, and our midwife arrived soon after that. Or maybe she got there first. . . I can't remember.  She brought her 2 children with her, and right away, her kids and ours were piled on Isaiah's bed playing with Isaiah's game boy!  She got her kids to bed quickly, and Matt got ours back to bed.  Then, I tried to get some sleep. 

Malakai came in to check on me

My contractions were getting more intense.  We decided to at least fill the pool halfway, but I was getting such strong contractions, I ended up telling him to just fill it up all the way because I wanted to get in!  However, when I got in the pool, my contractions slowed down a lot.  We called our doula at 11:30.  She got there when I was lying in Isaiah's bed next to the pool.  I was so tired!
Back in my own bed, I tried to sleep, but lying on my side brought on great contractions.  I just focused on relaxing, knowing that those more difficult ones were the ones that were helping Silas get to my arms faster.  When they were extra hard and I just wanted to survive through it, I would totally surrender my body to the contraction and remove my mind and emotions from the pain.  I would think about my baby, and how the contraction was opening my body for him.  It really helped.

Back in the pool

Whenever I got back into the pool, my contractions slowed down.  This was a very weird labor for me.  My midwife and Matt made sure I was eating and drinking well throughout my labor which helped my energy and endurance level a lot.  My midwife gave me some Valerian herb in tincture form to help me rest.  I did rest, and continued to contract all night.  Our doula had to leave to get back to her baby at home around 8:00am.  She said to call her if things picked up.

Silas, right when I brought
him out of the water

One of the times that I got back in the pool during the early morning hours, Eli walked in the room.  His first words were, "See, told ya I would wake up myself!"  I had told him that someone would wake him up if Silas was coming during the night.  He was very excited that the pool was filled.  Then he said, "So. . . is your belly gonna crack open like an egg?"  I proceeded to give him a basic understanding of where babies come from and the special way that God made mommies to birth them.  He was satisfied enough.  We chatted for a while.  It was so nice to have one of our children in the room.  It made me feel so comfortable, and the atmosphere felt more normal.

Instant Joy after lots of hard work!

While Indian style on the bed, my contractions came every 5 minutes and their severity was very good.  Then, during one contraction around 11:30, I felt Silas move down.  It was pretty cool!  When my legs got tired of that position, I tried the birthing ball.  While I was lunging on the birthing ball, Matt said, "I feel like it's Christmas, and we're trying to squeeze Santa down the chimney." It was really funny, and we both laughed!

After the birth ball, I got down on the floor.  There was a short time (just a few minutes) that I was alone.  I tried to sing "Edelweiss" to Silas, rocking and rubbing my belly.  I couldn't.  I was so overcome with emotion on the lines, "bloom and grow" and "you look happy to meet me", I could not sing!

I was eating and drinking during this whole time. Silas's heart rate was very good.  My midwife suggested that I start walking around.  That was very effective.  My contractions' intensity increased noticeably.  They were more difficult to get through, but I stayed on top of them.  My midwife told me to get in the pool, walk around in the water, then squat down for contractions to ease the pain.  That plan worked very well, and that time ended up being the sweetest and most personal part of my labor.

Our younger 4. Isaiah was busy playing with the midwife's son!
He did peek in from the hallway though.

Matt came in the room with me.  We closed the door for privacy.  Sunlight was pouring in the windows, and our birth play list was playing softly in the background.  I felt so silly walking around in the pool with Matt sitting there watching.  So, I asked him if he'd like to walk with me.  He held my hand, and walked with me around the pool (he was outside).  When I felt a contraction coming, I would squat down, and relax.  Then, I got back up to walk.  Well, our walk became a dance, like a tango or something silly like that.  We laughed so much!  Matt said, "OK, we are not supposed to be having this much fun during a birth!!"  It was such a sweet, funny, and romantic time between the two of us.  

When my contractions were well established, still 5 minutes apart, I stayed down in the water.  Apparently, some were 3 minutes apart because that is what is written in my Labor Record for 1:15pm.

At 1:28, I checked myself, and felt my sweet baby's head!  He was 2 knuckles in, and I felt the molding of his head.

Beautiful pic of Silas and Daddy
(Stacey Rainer Photography)

Gradually, my contractions changed to pushing contractions.  It was NOT easy like Malakai's birth because he had never tucked his chin! So, I did push with my body.

I had asked my midwife to call the children in when I started pushing.  When the children were coming, I pushed his head out.  His bag of waters were still intact until his head came out!  Remember, in Malakai's birth, when I softly stated, "Yes, the head is out." Not so this time!  I exclaimed with exhaustion "HIS HEAD'S OUT!"  After that, there was a brief rest period before the next contraction.  I was caressing his little head.  My midwife came around behind me.  She said his color was good, and said she would check for a cord.  "There is a cord." I told her.  It was loosely around his neck once.  Then, at 1:50pm while Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable" was playing on Matt's iTouch, Silas slowly came out with the next contraction.  I was carefully getting him unwrapped from the cord.  Matt told me to bring him up.  So, I started moving faster.  My midwife said, "Wait, let's get it off his shoulder."  I did with her help, and brought him up.  My midwife stripped Malakai's clothes off and put him right in the pool.  He loved Silas immensely right from the start.  It was so sweet!  Eli told her, "I do not want to get in the pool!"

After our happy relaxed time rejoicing over our newborn and phone calls to our moms and our doula (My labor was so weird that we never knew when to call her until it was too late!), it was time to think about that cord blood.  I carefully got out of the pool, and sat on the birth stool.  Almost immediately, Silas's placenta was born into the bowl below me.  Then, our midwife drew the cord blood.  Silas was still attached to his placenta.  So, she wrapped it in a chuck pad, and put it in a plastic bag.  We chose to do physiological cord clamping for Silas.  We researched the risks and benefits, and decided to let him receive all of his own precious blood and stem cells.  It would take a whole separate post to express all the protection and benefits that newborns receive when they are allowed to get all their own blood and stem cells!  Our midwife was able to get plenty of blood without cutting the cord.  His cord was not clamped or cut for 4 hours.  We did learn that the physiological cord clamping doesn't work the same with a hemophiliac.  First, his cord was cut very long, and didn't need any clamping at all.  However, later that night, when we cut it shorter with no clamps, it did seep a bit, and we had to clamp it.  Next time, we will wait a full 24 hours before cutting the cord short.  With help, I walked to my bed to lie down with Silas.  Matt was soon out the door to run the cord blood to the hospital.

When Matt got back, it was time for our herb bath.  That's always a nice time, and we got lots of beautiful pictures of Silas in the bath.  I think I might make a whole post full of herb bath pics!

A few hours later, we got the call from our hematologist about the blood test results, and learned that Silas does have hemophilia.  I will write more about that later since this post is already so long!

Silas taught me that just because a baby is small, it doesn't mean that the birth is easy.  Silas was only 6# at birth, and his birth was one of my most intense (and I've had a 10#14oz baby!).  I really had to work for him!!  No, size is not the issue, it's all about position.  Silas did not tuck his chin probably because his cord was right there and it was uncomfortable for him.  He came out in an anterior brow position.  However, it was another amazing and beautiful birth, and it was so nice to be back home and share the experience with our children.  Welcome, Silas Martin Reeves!!

"Oxygen Mask"

This week, my dad has been in the hospital because his oxygen level has been too low, and he needed help.  He is home now, but remains on oxygen.  That was and still is scary for our family.  It is also such a good reminder to me. . .

A good friend once shared a story with me.  She was on an airplane, listening to the flight attendant's speech about safety.  She was once again bothered by the part where they insist you put your own oxygen mask on before you help your children with theirs.  So, she asked why.  Of course she would help her children first before herself, right?!!!  The flight attendant's reply was something she never forgets:  "Because if you are unconscious, there will be no one to take care of your children."  My friend carrys that with her as a mother.  How true this applies to our parenting!!!  We need to find our oxygen mask.  Take good care of ourselves so that we can take better care of those who depend on us. 

Now for my confession. . .

I have been so wrapped up in my blog, facebook page, and the constant demands of my children.  I have not been taking care of myself.  Pretty hypocritical, I know, but i think a lot of you can relate.  Last night, I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions that wouldn't stop, and I was getting chills.  My husband wasn't home yet, and I was trying to have a special "snuggle and story time" with my children before bed.  I decided it would be good to check my urine (aimstick), and discovered what was causing my discomfort.  I was very dehydrated.  I called my midwife after my husband got home (husband speaking: I was NOT happy when I got home!), and she gave us instructions on how to get things under control.  It worked!  This morning, I feel so much better, and my specific gravity (hydration) has gone up quite a bit.

There was no excuse for this.  I know better!!!  My husband and midwife are keeping me accountable to take better care of myself.  I am 36 weeks and 2 days.  Silas should have a few more weeks to grow healthy and strong!  He is deep into my pelvis already.  We shall see.  But, I can tell you that I will be more careful to put on my "oxygen mask" from now on!

33 1/2 weeks and planning a HOME birth!! :o)

The last time I wrote, I was unsure where we were going to be, or what kind of birth we would be planning for Silas.  We are now in IL.  We have hired a licensed midwife from out of state to attend our home birth.  We had this midwife for our firstborn, and love her very much.  She gives excellent care, and is extremely competent in handling emergency situations.  We have also hired a doula to attend.  This doula has nursing training and is a hemophilia mom herself.  We live 2 minutes away from the hospital, and we have a new hemotologist who has accepted and run cord blood from home births in the near past.  We are officially meeting with him in a few days, and do not anticipate an issue. 

I am so excited about this birth!!  Matt and I will be ordering the birthing pool and supplies this week.  My mom and Grandma plan on coming down for the birth.  All 4 of our children will be able to be there too.  Although, Isaiah, our oldest (7yrs), plans on playing video games through the whole thing!  ;o)  I love that we are receiving such excellent care.  I love that another hemophilia mom will be there too, and that she is a nurse.  I love that we can still get his cord blood tested from a home birth, and I love that we are so close to the hospital in case of any emergency. 

God has worked this out incredibly.  We are looking forward to another beautiful birth.  I want to live post/blog Silas's birth when the time comes if I can work it out.  All the pics posted will be "G" rated as I am not comfortable posting graphic pics of myself on the internet.  I would love for you all to be "with me" through our special day!

The Last 4 1/2 Weeks. . .

Four and a half weeks ago, we found out that the baby we are expecting is a boy.  As you probably know, this was significant news for us since I am a carrier of severe hemophilia A.  I've been off facebook a lot ever since. This was first because of a virus that hit our family right after finding out our little one is a boy, and second because we have a lot going on right now, and I have a lot to mentally and emotionally process.  I want to take some time and talk about that.

When I first saw that second pink line appear, I knew I was having a girl.  Of course I was having a girl!  I was so emotional, and we already had 3 boys and 1 girl.  Also, planning a birth for a girl is much less stressful for us than planning a birth for a boy, and I just knew that this time, we'd get a break.  This summer, we are moving, Matt will be going back to school in the Fall to pursue a nursing degree, and work full time on top of that.  It is very exciting, but also pretty stressful.  I was thinking that at least the birth planning would be a breeze.  We are hoping to move to MI where we already have a great midwife.  A girl would mean planning a simple homebirth with a midwife I already know and love.  Even though I said, "Oh, yeah, we could be having another boy!", I didn't really believe it.  I knew I was having a girl.  Then, it was time for our ultrasound. . .

The technician was so friendly and happy with us about our expecting our 5th.  She couldn't see anything revealing for what seemed like so long!  She was busy measuring all kinds of things, and then. . .

"Well, you've seen that before!" she said.

It was NOT the cord!  We saw very clearly that we were having another boy!  Matt and I just laughed.  4 boys and 1 girl?!  Wow!!  I was already very much in love with this tiny little guy, and now I knew that he was a HE.  We even knew his name:  Silas Martin Reeves. 

Even though we were very happy, we were in shock.  A boy meant a lot more work.  Yes, he could have severe hemophilia, but that wasn't what was weighing so heavily on me.  I was counting on having a break this time with birth planning, and having a simple homebirth.  With all the things we are dealing with right now, this was not going to be one of them. . . BUT now I knew it was. 

2 days later, our family was hit by a horrible stomach virus.  Eli was first.  He had a fever, and since he has a port, that meant 48 hours in the hospital.  It hit us all, and it was bad.  It lasted 5 days for each person, and it took 2 weeks total for us all to be well.

After we were well, I started thinking about Silas's birth, and things started hitting me.  Once again, I don't know where we are going to be for this baby's birth, and now, I have to plan for a severe bleeding disorder!  I still am not convinced that there is any danger for a severe hemophiliac with a gentle vaginal delivery unless drugs or interventions are involved (with the exception of breech, placenta previa, etc).  My main concern for planning a birth for a boy has always been getting his cord blood tested.  If we didn't get his cord blood tested, we would have to take him in for a blood draw which is traumatic for a baby. 

Our 4th, Malakai, was our first hospital birth.  His birth was awesome, but there were some things we didn't like especially afterwards:  the lack of rest, all the strangers (drs and nurses) coming in to touch the baby, the fact that the hospital pretty much owns the baby until they discharge you both, the ridiculous hearing test, the required vitamin K (although they did allow us to use oral instead of a shot), having to be separated for a few minutes from the baby so they could help him start breathing at birth (ended up being meconium, and they did a great job; but at home, we would've been set up right at the pool), our children couldn't be there at all due to a flu epidemic at the time (not to mention the fact that there was a flu epidemic at the time, and we were there with our newborn!), and the heel prick.  Malakai didn't have hemophilia, and we had an amazing hospital experience to say the least.  All the issues I just listed are nothing compared to what I've heard other people complain about, but still. . . I am a homebirther at heart.

I do not think that homebirth is the right choice in every situation, and maybe it's not the right choice for Silas.  I don't know yet, but I can't plan his birth until I know where we are going to be.  Matt has applied for so many jobs in MI, but has no leads.  He has started applying here in NY as well in case there is nothing in MI.  Soon, he will probably expand his search to other states as well.  We really can't afford to be picky right now!  Our income will end in just a month or two.  I decided that right now, I will just focus on keeping myself and Silas healthy, and when I know where we will be,  I will start planning his birth.  Before then, it's just too overwhelming for me. 

Even with all the birth planning stress and the possibility of more hemophilia in our family, I am SO excited about our new little guy!  Silas is a sweetie.  I am 21 1/2 weeks along now.  I feel him moving around more and more everyday.  My heart is full of love for him!  I know that everything will all work out, and when he is safely in my arms, I will look back on these days and smile.  God has always taken care of us.  We have been in more stressful situations that this, and everything is going to be ok. 

Thank you for your patience right now, and all your love, support, and prayers.

Why I Love Water Birth: part 2

Before Ana could start walking, we were looking at two happy pink lines again!  We had been in IL for Isaiah's birth, MI for Ana's birth, and now we were in CA looking for a midwife.  We couldn't possibly have more than one baby in any state, could we?  We found the best midwife for us, and began planning another home water birth. 

I knew I was in labor at about 1:30am.  I labored in bed for a while on my side.  I got on my knees and leaned over a chair, all the time moaning through contractions.  By now, Isaiah was about 1 month from being 4, and Ana was about 2 months from being 2.  I had practiced these birth noises with them so they wouldn't be scared when the time came.  It worked.  They weren't scared at all.  I had nice breaks between contractions too, which really helped.  Isaiah wanted to help me so badly, but kept getting in people's way.  So, I asked him if he could hug me through my contractions.  He was my doula for this birth!   

The pushing stage for this birth was way more intense than it had been with Ana's birth.  For the first time during active labor, I called out to God, thanked Him for this baby, and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13).  When it was time to push, I pushed like I had never pushed before.  His head came out.  There was a small break before the next contraction (seemed like forever!).  Then, I was pushing again.  He was so huge that I thought he was completely out when he was only out to his waist!  Elijah was 10lbs 14oz!  I couldn't believe it!  His birth was so gentle, and he was a beautiful chubby newborn.  Four months later, we found out he had severe hemophilia.  I am so thankful that we had such a gentle birth for him.  I believe the water birth was a major reason why he was so big and did not have any bleeds or bruising, and I did not tear at all. 

By the time we were expecting our fourth little one, we knew that I was a carrier of hemophilia.  I have written all these stories before, and have recently posted the story of "Our Journey".  Please read it to get the full story of how we began birth planning with the knowledge of hemophilia being a possiblility.  We moved from CA to NY when I was 6 months pregnant.  I found a midwife, and we started planning a homebirth with the goal of drawing cord blood and transporting the specimen from home to a lab.  That plan did not work out.  We had to consider a hospital birth.  I met with the perinataltologist.  I explained to her that water birth was the safest, most gentle way I knew how to birth, our large hemophiliac baby had been born in water at home with no problems at all, and I insisted that our fourth baby's birth was just as gentle.  Malakai was the first water birth ever for this hospital.  His birth was so gentle that his water never broke until his shoulders were born. 

I know I've shared all these stories in length before, but I wanted to give a fresh review to illustrate where I'm coming from with water birth.  Based on my experience, I love water birth because:

• It calms my pain and discomfort.
• It relaxes my body.
• It softens my perineum, and helps me not tear.
• Because I am so relaxed, I can get in the best possible position for my pelvis to be at maximum size.
• I can easily move to different positions at will.
• Because I am so relaxed, my whole body opens to birth my baby as gently as possible.
• It gives me my own space, and I feel safe. 
• Being in the water helps me feel covered, and I don't feel so exposed and vulnerable.

I am now 13 1/2 weeks pregnant with our fifth baby.  Malakai is 16 months old, Eli is 3, Ana is 5, and Isaiah is 7.  In about 5 weeks we will find out if this baby is a boy or a girl.  There is no question that we will be planning another water birth.  We hope to have a home birth, but if we must consider a hospital, we will plan a water birth there.  Hemophilia babies need a gentle birth even more than other babies do, and I am so thankful that we already practiced such a gentle way of birthing even before we knew hemophilia was a part of our lives.

Why I Love Water Birth: part 1

I first heard of water birth when I was a teenager.  My first thought was "That's crazy!  Won't the baby drown?!".  I really didn't think of it much more until I was married and we were expecting our firstborn.  The first midwife we interviewed told us that she almost exclusively did water births.  She told us that water birth was a lot gentler on both the baby and the mom.  "For the baby, the difference is like waking up at your own leisure on a Saturday morning vs. being woken up with an alarm clock on Monday morning."  The baby is born from warm fluid into warm fluid, and is gently lifted up to the air, and the baby is not stimulated to breathe until he/she comes in contact with the air.  The warm water helps mom relax, and her body opens up more.  The warm water is also great pain relief, and allows the mom to move to different positions effortlessly.  We were impressed with all the benefits she shared with us, and decided to go with a water birth.

Our first birth was at home.  My husband (Matt) and I were in the birth pool together.  Isaiah was crowning for an hour.  Our midwife kept close watch on his heart rate and skin color which was fine, and Matt played with his hair.  After 4 hours of pushing, Isaiah was born into his daddy's hands.  Matt passed him to me, and I lifted him up out of the water.  He was big!  9lbs 8oz, broad shoulders and big chest.  No wonder he took so long to come out!

Baby #2 was also born at home.  Things went a lot faster this time.  I knew I was in labor around 11:00pm and she was born at 1:30am.  My mom called our midwife, Matt got the pool ready, and I was laboring on the toilet, tailorsitting on the floor, hanging on people. . .  I couldn't wait for the pool to be ready!!  Finally, it was warm enough and full enough for me to get in.  Ahhhhhhhhh. . . .   instant relief!  My sister acted as my doula, and my sis-in-law was there to take care of Isaiah (then 2 years old).  Matt and I were in the pool.  My midwife would not tell me when to push.  She said I would tell them when it was time to push.  Suddenly, one contraction caused me to bear down!  I told my sis-in-law to wake up Isaiah.  He wanted us to wake him up for the birth.  She did.  She told him that the baby was coming.  He got up, unzipped his pajamas, and started taking off his diaper, and climbing in the pool!  My midwife said it was fine.  So, we let him in.  Within 6 minutes of the first pushing contraction, Ana was born into my own hands.  Matt was holding Isaiah, my sister was right outside the pool next to me.  With one hand on my sister's shoulder, and one hand on Ana's head, I told everyone when she was crowning, when her head was out, and brought her up out of the water when she was born.  She was pink and looked so little at 7lbs 4oz (2lbs less than her brother was!)