Our Sixth Birth - Evangeline Daisy Part 1: The Pink Sweater Set STRIKE!

The PSS Strike Begins!

Oh my goodness.  I thought she would never come.  I thought maybe my body forgot what to do this time.  She was taking --s-o- -l-o-n-g--!!  I assumed she would be born early.  Last 2 babies were 2 days before their EDDs. This was my sixth birth.  Surely that meant I'd have her between 39 and 40 weeks!

My sweet Mama with Ana

NOPE.

39 weeks came and went.

40 weeks came and went.

My best birthie friend made a special trip to see me.  She encouraged me, made me take a hot shower, massaged my feet and calves (OUCH!!).  That's what would make her come, right?!

NOPE.

Grama and Silas were buddies. They are discussing
their chocolate milk he

My mom and "Grama" (97.5 years old at the time and came very close to passing away just a couple weeks before) traveled down from Michigan to be here for me.  Surely that's all I needed.  She'll come now!

NOPE.

Matt starts school on Monday!  Surely she'll be born by then!

NOPE.

Still great with child, I sent Matt off to school on Monday morning.

41 weeks came and went. It was then when my Grama began her Pink Sweater Set Strike.  She decided that she would wear her pink sweater set to let the baby know it was okay to come now.  She refused to wear anything else.  My mom had to wash it at night and have it ready for her in the morning on Wednesday. . .

and Thursday. . .

and Friday. . .

and Saturday.

 I got to go the The Renaissance Festival that Saturday.  That was an unexpected surprise.  My mom and my pink-sweater-set-wearing Grama sent us off to the faire. I got to hang out with my gypsies, and I got the most gorgeous henna you'll ever see from my friend and favorite gypsy of all: Raven (Fox Moon Henna).

I just needed some belly henna therapy.  I'll have her tomorrow, right???

 

NOPE.

While Mom and Grama (you guessed it, in her pink sweater set) stayed home; Matt, the kids, and I went to church 2 days before I would hit 42 weeks.  I had accepted the fact that I would be pregnant F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

Then, the next day. . .

And my Grama's pink sweatered arms were finally filled with her little namesake, Evangeline Daisy:

(Details in next post!)

24 Weeks and No Midwife

I haven't felt like a good example for BWB lately.  It's not that I am behaving recklessly or carelessly.  It's just that I have no professional caregiver right now, and I would never recommend that to any of my followers.  It's complicated.  Matt and I are keeping track of lots of things at home: blood pressure, blood sugar, oxygen, pulse, heart sounds, respiratory, fundal height, swelling (none at all), and urinalysis.  We can't hear Evangeline's heart rate on his stethoscope yet, and plan to get a fetoscope soon. Her movements get more frequent and stronger everyday, though. I need to do better on my diet and water intake as usual.  I eat so slowly and because there are so many other things pressing on me, I don't always eat as much as I should.  I'm working on it.  My weight gain is good.  I am 24 weeks along right now.

We've been in this position before.  When I was pregnant with Malakai, we were in a huge transition that was physically and emotionally stressful.  We ended up moving from CA to NY in my 3rd trimester, and decided on a midwife after we arrived.  Then, she couldn't help us with a home birth. So, I had to fight for the birth I wanted in the hospital.  It worked.  Malakai was the first water birth in that hospital, and it was nearly unattended (I say this as a good thing)!  It is good for me to reflect on that because it reminds me of how God has taken care of us in the past, and I can trust He will take care of us again this time.  That being said, I still firmly believe that his birth would've been handled better at home.  He had a meconium issue that you can see in the video below.  
At home, we would've suctioned and if he needed breaths, we have a warm tray (for a warm flat surface) ready right there so that he wouldn't have had to leave me at all and we wouldn't have had to cut his cord.  When a baby isn't breathing, he especially needs all the oxygen from his cord blood.  However, we were in the hospital.  So, they weren't set up to handle things like that.  I can't really complain as many many things were handled the way we wanted and they didn't give me much trouble at all.  We had zero separation, he slept with me and never in the crib thing, and when they were supposed to have him in the crib while we were being transported from delivery to recovery, they supported my decision to carry Malakai skin to skin inside my gown under blankets.  It's cold in the hospital!!  All things considered, we have a lot to be thankful for with our hospital birth experience.

A homebirth midwife such as a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) is my preference of caregiver.  I personally believe that CPMs are better trained in the natural birthing process, and how to most effectively care for complications without the restraints of hospital protocols.  The care they provide prevents most complications in the first place.  On the other hand, they are skilled to know when things are not safe to stay home and when to transport to the nearest hospital.  They are passionate about what they do, and are not motivated by money or time (There are exceptions, of course.), but rather are motivated to provide customized care to mom and baby/babies.  Of course, I would never argue that CPMs are the only ones that provide this level of care.  I just feel like I have the best chance of getting the care I want, if I choose a midwife such as a CPM.

Because of the ridiculous legal situation with CPMs in our area, I can't share any of the details you may be wondering about.  I will say that I will continue to take care of myself, improve my diet and water intake, and we will plan Evangeline's bubble wrapped birth as soon as we can.  There are some options we are considering.  I hate that I can't just be open and share all the details with you.  Please just pray for wisdom in these decisions that need to be made very soon.  Please pray that the best midwife for this birth will be available and we will be able to relax and just enjoy the next few months before Evangeline's birth.

Thank you so much for your support.  I know that there are many BWB mamas who would make very different choices than I am right now.  I completely respect that, and I hope you can do the same for me in return. 

Support Carol Velasquez CPM!

BWB family, I am posting this link hoping that some of you would be able to join me to support Carol Velasquez. Carol is a certified professional midwife who has over 20 years experience providing optimal care for women, babies, and families. She is a dear friend to me and my family. ~Sarah

PLEASE READ:

"On March 28th, 2013 Carol Velasquez, CPM was indicted by a grand jury for practicing midwifery during her time in Indianapolis. Carol is a Certified Professional Midwife with over 20 years experience attending births. The care that Carol provided her clients was unparalleled by the Obstetric community and hospitals in Indiana. The women she attended received prenatal care according to the same schedule and yet she spent an average of 700% more time with us! This was acheived by scheduling 2 hour long appointments (as opposed to the 15 minutes OB/GYN's allot for patients.) She provided women with detailed nutritional counseling, recommended supplements according to the individual needs of the mother, and practical as well as emotional support to women facing difficult circumstances (myself included). Because the State of Indiana refuses to license CPM's Carol put her freedom on the line for each of the families she helped. Let's show our support for this brave woman on Tuesday morning as she surrenders herself to the court!"

*I am going to try my best to be there. I may have all my children with me. If you are in or near Indianapolis and want to help, please meet me at the courthouse on Tuesday morning (4/2/13)! If you can't be there, please share this event in as many homebirth friendly circles as you can, and please please pray. ~Sarah

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE EVENT ON FACEBOOK

Thank you all so much for reading this blog.  This is an unusual post calling you to action, but I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important.

-----> PLEASE SEE UPDATED POST HERE!

A Simple Guide to "Bubble Wrapping" Your Birth:

We put bubble wrap around things that are special to us:  special Christmas decorations, fine china, crystal, figurines, and other treasures.  There is nothing more special than finding out you are carrying a new life inside your body.  You don't want anything to harm your most precious treasure of all: your baby.  "Bubble Wrapped Birth" means a birth planned with care to keep your baby safe through the birth process. 

But, how? 
Here are six key points to planning your own bubble wrapped birth:

1.  Be healthy. Making healthy choices and having a healthy diet is the foundation for a safe birth. This link is a good place to start.

2.  Know your body.  Understand your unique health facts:  birth history, factor level, bleeding history, etc.

3.  Know your baby.  Study fetal development.  Understand the impact that prenatal health, gestational weeks, and birth choices make on your baby.

4.  Understand birth.  Research the natural birth process, what things hinder the process, how to work with your body, how to safely deal with labor pains, and when interventions are truly necessary. Click here for an excellent resource to get you started!!

5.  Know your options in your area.  Is there a birth center available to you?  What options are offered at your local hospital:  midwives, water birth, doulas, competent NICU, etc.?  Are there good home birth options with competent care and medical backup such as support from your HTC with cord blood testing, etc.?  What policies will you have to work with at each birthing location?

6.  If you are unsatisfied with the options in your area, work to change them!!

To My Husband with Much Love

Thank you, Honey. 

Thank you for being my best friend.  Thank you for your love and support through everything these last 9+ years. 

When we first found out about Faith, and then couldn't keep her, you held me together through all of that.  The worry, the confirmation that our tiny baby was no longer living, the pain, the hospital, the incredible grief. . .  We came through that together with God as our strength.

Thank you for 7 1/2 years of successful breastfeeding.  I couldn't have done it without you.  When Isaiah was born, and had trouble latching on, you never suggested I give up and just give him a bottle.  Those first nights of pumping colostrum and spoon feeding him every 2 hours were so hard, but you were so strong right with me.  You even rocked him between feedings so I could sleep.  A few days later when the roof of his mouth smoothed out and he nursed with no problem at all, it was a victory for all three of us.  We all worked very hard for that.  Also, you've always been very supportive through all the (often difficult) tandem nursing months and years with each of our 4 children. 

You love me through all my hormonal mood swings.  You always look at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world no matter if I'm a size 4 or I'm 8 months pregnant and no longer fitting into my maternity clothes because I've gained 50 or 60 lbs!  You are an excellent birth assistant.  If you are with me, I know everything will be ok.  Our births have been so amazing mostly because of you.  I could never have been so relaxed and at ease if you had not set that tone for me. 

You are such a great daddy.  I am so thankful our children have you.  No matter how busy you are, you make time for them.  You are a patient teacher and love them with the love of Jesus.  I love seeing you wear each of our babies in the sling or baby wrap.  You have become just as much of a breastfeeding, baby-wearing, gentle birthing advocate as I am, and sometimes even more than I am!   

I am so proud of you.  When Eli was diagnosed with severe hemophilia, a seed was planted in your heart, and now you are working very hard to earn your nursing degree so that you can help other children and families with bleeding disorders. 

I love how you love being a daddy.  You are even more baby crazy than I am!!  It doesn't even matter to you if we have more children with hemophilia.  On the possibility of having multiple little hemophiliacs, you just say, "Line 'em up!" (for infusions).  You just smile on the idea of caring for each child with their own unique needs. 

 As we anticipate the arrival of our fifth child any day now, I wanted you to have the spot light.  You are the greatest husband and daddy I've ever known.  I love you.  Thank you so much for everything. 

Love,                    

Me                  

The Last Few Days / Weeks Before the Big Day

Everything is ready except for a few more towels that we are getting from Matt's mom.  The pool is blown up and cleaned.  The liner is on and cleaned.  A sheet is laying over the pool to keep it clean.  All the birth supplies are gathered and organized.  Our midwife and doula have both been to our home making sure they know the route well.  We have Silas's clothes washed up and in his drawer, the blankets washed up, and we have diapers ready for him.  The HTC sent the blue capped tubes for collecting the cord blood to be tested, and things are set up with the local hospital.  The carseat should arrive today. . .  Lets's see, anything else?

We are as prepared as we can be.  Now, we just wait.  This last bit of pregnancy always seems to be the longest, and it is very hard to focus on anything except for baby and birth.  However, I can't just neglect everything else.  I have a husband and four other children!  We homeschool, there are dishes and laundry to be done, and messes to clean up. 

The unknown is always aggravating to a certain extent.  I was just talking to another mom about her birth, and it has me puzzled.  Her baby's cord was wrapped around his neck twice close to the placenta.  Everytime she stood up, his heartrate dropped.  Pushing him out was strangling him.  I will talk to my midwife about this, and find out what is the best thing to do in a scenario like this.  One of my weaknesses is trying to figure everything out.  I want to understand what happened, and why, and how to best deal with it if it happens to me or someone else. 


Meanwhile, it's time for breakfast and everyone needs to get dressed.  We need to have a great school day and lots of housework is needing to be done.  I love my job.  It is not easy, but being a mom and devoting all of my time to taking care of my family is the best job I could have.

Silas will be here very soon!!  I'll be 39 weeks in just 4 days! 

The First Year with a Little Bruiser

Well, we are 3 days away from hitting 38 weeks with Silas.  I have had a couple episodes of stronger braxton hicks contractions, but it looks like he will not be coming earlier than our other little ones did.  My history has been: 40 weeks 5 days, 40 weeks 3 days, 41 weeks, and 39 weeks 5 days.  As we get closer and closer to the big day, I am so excited to get him in my arms!!!  Sometimes, I also think about going through another first year with a baby who has a severe bleeding disorder.  

It was really scary and stressful with Eli.  We didn't understand much about hemophilia, and rushed him off to the HTC/ER any time he hurt himself to any degree.  We were so scared of missing a bleed.  I am glad we were so proactive, though.  It would've been awful if we had missed a bleed.  If Silas has hemophilia, I don't think it will be as bad as it was with Eli, but it will still be hard.  Things got so much easier when Eli got his port placed, and we were trained to care for him at home.  Silas (if affected) will have to get many pokes for bloodwork and emergency factor treatments, and that is so traumatic for a little guy.  We won't be able to treat him at home at first since we are not trained to access veins, especially tiny baby veins.  I am not looking forward to this part of the deal at all.  Oh, we'll make it.  Everything will work out.  I'm just being real about this because I know many of you can relate.

"Normal" by Amber Webb

I read this the other day, and was deeply moved.  This beautiful note was written by my cousin's wife.  They, like us, have a new normal.  I think you will be blessed by these words spoken straight from her heart. . .

~Normal~

It's funny how that word takes on new meanings as we walk through life. Normal.
I remember being pregnant and talking to Micah about what it was going to be like to have a little boy: all the things we would do; where we would send him to school; what his room would be like; who he would look like. I remember holding him in the hospital room when he was born and thinking, "This has to be the most beautiful baby ever born." The night the nurse told us Ben had Down Syndrome is also one that I'll never forget. The most heartbreaking moment for me was hearing Micah say, "That means I can't teach him to fly." His airplane themed nursery suddenly didn't seem to fit. It was almost as if we were mourning the loss of the child we planned for. Everything changed in that moment. This "normal" we had planned suddenly vanished.
The days and weeks after that have had their ups and downs. Some days I wonder where the balance is between acknowledging that Ben is different and ignoring it completely.
Here's what I've learned so far...
My son is different than yours. SO WHAT. My version of normal has changed. SO WHAT. I'm thankful for that pesky extra chromosome and I'm thankful the Designer decided to bless us with such wonderful little boy.
Micah is back overseas working hard and my time is consumed by a precious little boy with Designer genes.

God is still good and that's MY normal. What's yours?  

"Oxygen Mask"

This week, my dad has been in the hospital because his oxygen level has been too low, and he needed help.  He is home now, but remains on oxygen.  That was and still is scary for our family.  It is also such a good reminder to me. . .

A good friend once shared a story with me.  She was on an airplane, listening to the flight attendant's speech about safety.  She was once again bothered by the part where they insist you put your own oxygen mask on before you help your children with theirs.  So, she asked why.  Of course she would help her children first before herself, right?!!!  The flight attendant's reply was something she never forgets:  "Because if you are unconscious, there will be no one to take care of your children."  My friend carrys that with her as a mother.  How true this applies to our parenting!!!  We need to find our oxygen mask.  Take good care of ourselves so that we can take better care of those who depend on us. 

Now for my confession. . .

I have been so wrapped up in my blog, facebook page, and the constant demands of my children.  I have not been taking care of myself.  Pretty hypocritical, I know, but i think a lot of you can relate.  Last night, I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions that wouldn't stop, and I was getting chills.  My husband wasn't home yet, and I was trying to have a special "snuggle and story time" with my children before bed.  I decided it would be good to check my urine (aimstick), and discovered what was causing my discomfort.  I was very dehydrated.  I called my midwife after my husband got home (husband speaking: I was NOT happy when I got home!), and she gave us instructions on how to get things under control.  It worked!  This morning, I feel so much better, and my specific gravity (hydration) has gone up quite a bit.

There was no excuse for this.  I know better!!!  My husband and midwife are keeping me accountable to take better care of myself.  I am 36 weeks and 2 days.  Silas should have a few more weeks to grow healthy and strong!  He is deep into my pelvis already.  We shall see.  But, I can tell you that I will be more careful to put on my "oxygen mask" from now on!

The Last 4 1/2 Weeks. . .

Four and a half weeks ago, we found out that the baby we are expecting is a boy.  As you probably know, this was significant news for us since I am a carrier of severe hemophilia A.  I've been off facebook a lot ever since. This was first because of a virus that hit our family right after finding out our little one is a boy, and second because we have a lot going on right now, and I have a lot to mentally and emotionally process.  I want to take some time and talk about that.

When I first saw that second pink line appear, I knew I was having a girl.  Of course I was having a girl!  I was so emotional, and we already had 3 boys and 1 girl.  Also, planning a birth for a girl is much less stressful for us than planning a birth for a boy, and I just knew that this time, we'd get a break.  This summer, we are moving, Matt will be going back to school in the Fall to pursue a nursing degree, and work full time on top of that.  It is very exciting, but also pretty stressful.  I was thinking that at least the birth planning would be a breeze.  We are hoping to move to MI where we already have a great midwife.  A girl would mean planning a simple homebirth with a midwife I already know and love.  Even though I said, "Oh, yeah, we could be having another boy!", I didn't really believe it.  I knew I was having a girl.  Then, it was time for our ultrasound. . .

The technician was so friendly and happy with us about our expecting our 5th.  She couldn't see anything revealing for what seemed like so long!  She was busy measuring all kinds of things, and then. . .

"Well, you've seen that before!" she said.

It was NOT the cord!  We saw very clearly that we were having another boy!  Matt and I just laughed.  4 boys and 1 girl?!  Wow!!  I was already very much in love with this tiny little guy, and now I knew that he was a HE.  We even knew his name:  Silas Martin Reeves. 

Even though we were very happy, we were in shock.  A boy meant a lot more work.  Yes, he could have severe hemophilia, but that wasn't what was weighing so heavily on me.  I was counting on having a break this time with birth planning, and having a simple homebirth.  With all the things we are dealing with right now, this was not going to be one of them. . . BUT now I knew it was. 

2 days later, our family was hit by a horrible stomach virus.  Eli was first.  He had a fever, and since he has a port, that meant 48 hours in the hospital.  It hit us all, and it was bad.  It lasted 5 days for each person, and it took 2 weeks total for us all to be well.

After we were well, I started thinking about Silas's birth, and things started hitting me.  Once again, I don't know where we are going to be for this baby's birth, and now, I have to plan for a severe bleeding disorder!  I still am not convinced that there is any danger for a severe hemophiliac with a gentle vaginal delivery unless drugs or interventions are involved (with the exception of breech, placenta previa, etc).  My main concern for planning a birth for a boy has always been getting his cord blood tested.  If we didn't get his cord blood tested, we would have to take him in for a blood draw which is traumatic for a baby. 

Our 4th, Malakai, was our first hospital birth.  His birth was awesome, but there were some things we didn't like especially afterwards:  the lack of rest, all the strangers (drs and nurses) coming in to touch the baby, the fact that the hospital pretty much owns the baby until they discharge you both, the ridiculous hearing test, the required vitamin K (although they did allow us to use oral instead of a shot), having to be separated for a few minutes from the baby so they could help him start breathing at birth (ended up being meconium, and they did a great job; but at home, we would've been set up right at the pool), our children couldn't be there at all due to a flu epidemic at the time (not to mention the fact that there was a flu epidemic at the time, and we were there with our newborn!), and the heel prick.  Malakai didn't have hemophilia, and we had an amazing hospital experience to say the least.  All the issues I just listed are nothing compared to what I've heard other people complain about, but still. . . I am a homebirther at heart.

I do not think that homebirth is the right choice in every situation, and maybe it's not the right choice for Silas.  I don't know yet, but I can't plan his birth until I know where we are going to be.  Matt has applied for so many jobs in MI, but has no leads.  He has started applying here in NY as well in case there is nothing in MI.  Soon, he will probably expand his search to other states as well.  We really can't afford to be picky right now!  Our income will end in just a month or two.  I decided that right now, I will just focus on keeping myself and Silas healthy, and when I know where we will be,  I will start planning his birth.  Before then, it's just too overwhelming for me. 

Even with all the birth planning stress and the possibility of more hemophilia in our family, I am SO excited about our new little guy!  Silas is a sweetie.  I am 21 1/2 weeks along now.  I feel him moving around more and more everyday.  My heart is full of love for him!  I know that everything will all work out, and when he is safely in my arms, I will look back on these days and smile.  God has always taken care of us.  We have been in more stressful situations that this, and everything is going to be ok. 

Thank you for your patience right now, and all your love, support, and prayers.

"Oh, I don't care what we're having, just as long as he/she is healthy. . . "

It's funny to hear this statement now that I know our baby has a 50% chance of inheriting my mutated gene, and either having or carrying severe hemophilia a.  I don't say the above statement anymore.  Now, it's like this, "I do care what we're having because knowing we are having a boy or a girl greatly effects our birth plans.  Matt and I choose to find out the gender to best plan the safest most appropriate birth.  I want a healthy birth, but I want the baby exactly how God hade him/her whether that means 'healthy' or 'hemophiliac' or any other genetic disorder.   As far as wanting a girl or boy more. . . no.  I want the baby we have to have the safest birth possible.  I wouldn't change a thing about him/her."  Although, I know I am thinking too much into the traditional statement for which this post is named, this was on my heart, and BWB is the best place for me to share it.  Now, off I go to eat a healthy breakfast for my sweet little one.  <3

Our Journey

I was an avid natural birth advocate way before I knew what the word hemophilia meant.  After our third child was diagnosed with severe hemophilia and I found out I was a carrier, I began to ask people a lot of questions.  I asked other hemo moms, doctors, nurses, midwives, anyone!!  I wanted to know if my beautiful home birth days were over, and I wanted to know the real risks posed to baby hemophiliacs at birth.  It was then that my Bubble Wrapped Birth journey began. 

I have heard many stories, read the studies, looked at medical reports, and read our recommendations published in Hemaware magazine.  I have never once read a birth story where a baby had a gentle birth with no drugs or interventions of any kind, and ended up with a bleed.  In fact, all the birth bleed stories I've read have been births with drugs or interventions such as vacuum or forceps. 

I am committed to planning safe deliveries for each of my children.  I've learned a lot from other hemo families, midwives, and my own experience.  My husband and I have learned what works best for us and allows us to have the most gentle birth as possible.  We use water birth.  It allows me to fully relax, move effortlessly, and be in the greatest positions that open my pelvis to maximum size.  There are some situations that we have decided would mean the safest delivery would be a c-section.  These include placenta previa and a breech boy (maybe girl, not decided yet). 

The bottom line is this.  We believe that a gentle vaginal birth is most beneficial to our children unless one of the above complications become evident.  In this Bubble Wrapped Birth journey, I may come across other reasons for scheduling a c-section.  My concern is what is best for my babies.  Period.

As far as home birth, I birth at home when I believe the hospital situation threatens dangerous interventions and does not support our birth plan.  One hard thing we've come across is how to get the cord blood tested from a home birth.  It was for this reason our fourth child was born in the hospital. 

His birth was perfect, and just as gentle as a home birth.  After he was born, he had a meconium issue, and needed suction and breaths.  That was a first, and not fun.  He was ok, and I thought the staff did a fine job taking care of the situation.  If we had been home, we would've been set up right at the side of the pool.  He would've been able to be suctioned, and get breaths on a flat warm surface without cutting the cord or leaving me.  The baby care at the hospital was also something new for us.  Home is much gentler on the baby, and we are in full control of what happens with our baby.  In a hospital, we dealt with required procedures, sometimes dangerous for a baby with a bleeding disorder (ie:  rough personnel and the heel prick).  We were there for one reason, and that was the cord blood testing.  He did not have hemophilia.

Now, we are 12 weeks along with baby #5.  We will find out around Easter time if baby is a boy or a girl.  Plan A is a home birth with cord blood testing and a trained professional with emergency equipment.  Plan B is a gentle water birth in a hospital with a midwife where our birth plan is respected and we can get the cord blood tested for factor 8 level.  We will continue to grow and learn, and we will never compromise our baby's safety.  If we are having a girl, we will probably plan a home birth. 

Bubble Wrapped Birth is a passion of my heart.  Thank you for joining me on this amazing and precious journey!

Our Fourth Birth - Malakai (part 1 - pregnancy and planning)

I didn't realize how emotional it would be to revisit my pregnancy with Malakai.  I've shared my birth story with so many, but his story begins a few months before he was created. . .

One month before Elijah was a year old, I got the news that I was indeed a carrier of severe hemophilia A.  (For those who aren't as familiar with hemophilia:  It is possible that a hemophiliac is the result of a spontaneous mutation, and did not inherit the gene from a parent.)  That was November 2008.  In March 2009, we found out that we were expecting #4.  Within the next month or two after that, my husband learned that he was losing a huge part of his job that would make it impossible for us to stay in CA.  This was a very personal thing, and not just a business downsize.  Also, Elijah was one week from his port surgery.  I was under extreme stress, and had to choose where my energy would be spent.  That was not a hard choice.  I had to take care of my family.  My husband needed a lot of support, I was growing a baby that needed me, and I was gearing up to hand off my older baby to surgeons.  There was no room for anything else.  But, still, it didn't make all the other pressure go away.  On top of all that, I had to start planning my upcoming birth.  We got an ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby.  It was a boy!  I started doing extensive research on hemophilia and childbirth, and was not satisfied with what I found. I'll get into that in another post. 

Several facts were in the mix: 

1. Our baby had a 50% chance of having severe hemophilia. 

2. I had to plan my birth with wisdom in the new knowledge that I may have passed on this gene. 

3. I could not base my decision on the success of Elijah's birth, although that did play a part in the decision.  All hemophiliacs are not the same, and have different bleeding patterns. 

4. Until my third trimester, I did not have any idea where we would be for the birth. 

5. We needed to have his blood tested right after his birth.


6. Our son's hematologist recommended that I schedule a c-section.  Then, when she could see that I was not welcoming that idea, she recommended a plan B:  Have my birth as natural as possible in a hospital where they can do an emergency c-section if needed.


Near the end of my second trimester, my husband was offered a job in NY.  He accepted the position, and we had to pack up our house in a week.  We decided to drive.  After all, when would we ever get the opportunity to drive from CA to NY again?!  So, Matt drove the big truck, and I drove the van.  Yeah, it was pretty crazy!  It was fun though.  We made lots of memories.   I met with the only licensed midwife in the Buffalo area a couple weeks later.  We were planning a homebirth, hoping the local hospital would support running the labs for us (Matt would take the blood to the hospital immediately).  In some cases, this does work. However, this time, it did not.  Our new pediatric hematologist tried to work out the labs for us, and even an on call emergency transport.  However, the hospital would not support this plan.  Our midwife, who we loved, could not help us with a homebirth.  She was under fire from the hospital, and could only offer to help us with a hospital birth.  I was devastated.  We met with another midwife, but we couldn't work out the labs.  I met with the nurse manager at the hospital.  I told her that I wanted a waterbirth.  She told me that they did not offer waterbirth, and the room was so small that it just wouldn't work.  I was determined to have the most relaxed non-traumatic birth possible even if that meant having my baby at home and compromising the immediate lab work.  I was trying to avoid causing my baby a bleed.  I would keep him safe!!  I met with the perinatologist who asked me about my birth history and what I wanted for this birth.  When she heard my reasoning and that my only concern was the safety of my baby, she told me that I should get exact measurements of the birth pool, and get them to the nurse manager.  I did, but the NM said there was simply no room.  I asked her if we could make room for the pool by moving the bed to the hallway.  She said I shouldn't hope for this to be approved, but she would speak to "the powers that be", and get back to me.  I again shared my heart for my baby's safety with her.  The next morning,   I wept tears of joy when the NM called me and told me to order the pool!! 

*All pictures are from our trip from California to New York in August 2009*

      

Our Second Birth - Ana

A couple months after Isaiah's first birthday, we were expecting again. We were so exited! At this time we were living with my parents. I was SO emotional during this pregnancy, a little scary at times actually. Yikes! My midwife just laughed at me. She said that it was so obvious that I was having a girl. My pregnancy with Ana was just very emotional! The day before her birth, my midwife noticed that my body looked so peaceful. I did feel really peaceful too. Later that night, I started getting real contractions. My sister in law came over to help with Isaiah, and my sister came too. When my contractions were getting on top of each other at about 11:00pm, they made the executive decision to call the midwife! She got there soon after that. I remember moaning softly through contractions, being so relaxed sitting in a yoga position, eating strawberries and yogurt when she came up the stairs. When the pool was ready, I got in. By then, my cousin was there too, and of course my mom was there! I asked my midwife if she needed to check me, and she said, I don't need to, but if you want me to, I can. I said I did, so she did. I said, "Well, what am I?" She said, "Sarah, you already know what you are. You tell me." I said, " I don't know, 8?" She said, "Yes! I told you you knew!" I asked her if she would tell me when I should push, and she said, "No. You will tell us when it's time for you to push!" I said, "Ok!" A short while after that, my body began to push. I asked Tammy (s-i-l) to wake Isaiah up (that's what he wanted). He got up out of bed, took off his pajamas, and diaper, and wanted to get in the pool. I asked my midwife if that was ok, and she said, "Sure!" So, Isaiah got in with us (Matt was in the pool). A couple minutes later, I felt Ana's head crowning. I kept my hand there, and told everyone when her head came out. Then, at 1:30am on Feb 26, 2006, that baby girl came right out into my hands!!! I caught her and brought her up. She looked so little! It was amazing and so precious! My Grandma and Dad came up to see her before the placenta was even born. Then, I started nursing her. Well, Isaiah came right over and I tandem nursed them right in the pool! The placenta was born, we got out, weighed her (7lbs 4oz), had our herb bath, and it was time for bed. That night she started crying in bed. I tried nursing her, and she wouldn't nurse. I got up, and took her to the other room, and she wouldn't nurse. I changed her diaper. Nothing would stop her crying and screaming! Then, I held her in front of me, and just listened to her. I agreed with her, responded to her, and do you know that little girl's cries softened into coos! She then nursed and went to sleep. She had a big day and needed to be heard! That was definitely the beginning of Ana Isabella Reeves!

Our First Birth - Isaiah

My pregnancy with Isaiah went very well up until the last trimester. I was dilating and contracting for four weeks. My midwife really pushed protien, water, and epsom salt baths. She also had me on a bunch of herbs. It worked! On Feb 1st (my brother's birthday), 2004, at 5:00am, I went into labor. My sister was there with her two little boys, and my mom was there. My midwife got there around 10:00am. I was already in transition. She checked me and I was fully dilated. I began pushing with my contractions because my midwife said I could if I wanted to. Looking back, I don't think I should have done that. I was wanting to get him out asap instead of waiting and listening to my body.  I didn't realize that at the time.  First birth, you know!  ;o)  I was pushing for 4 hours, and he was crowning for the last hour. My midwife kept a close eye on his skin color and heartrate. He was doing fine.  Matt was in the pool with me, and he played with Isaiah's hair in the water while he was crowning. It was very peaceful. My sister was in front of me, right outside the pool, nursing her baby.  I talked to him between pushes. It was kinda funny. Isaiah's head was half out, and I'm baby talking with my nephew! When his whole head came out, Matt says, "I think he has your lips!" haha (btw, he doesn't. He looks like a carbon copy of Matt) Well, I will never forget how amazing that felt when his body finally came out into Matt's hands. Matt passed him to me, and I brought him up out of the water. He was so big! 9lbs 8oz. His placenta was born soon after that. When I got out of the pool, I started losing big clots. I walked over to the rocking chair, but passed out as I sat down. My midwife slapped me in the face, and gave me a shot of pitocyn in my leg. That and my mom's roast beef and potatoes took care of it. I had been working so hard, and my body was just wore out! If I had Isaiah's birth to do over again, I wouldn't have forced the pushing. I should've just relaxed and waited until I felt like pushing. Because he was crowning so long, the plates in his skull overlapped so severely that it also affected the roof of his mouth. He had some trouble nursing the first few days. We massaged the roof of his mouth and the top of his head, and it worked out in just a few days. That was the beginning of Isaiah Matthew Reeves!

Our First Pregnancy - Faith

We were married in June of 2002, and that Thanksgiving, my sister and I both found out that we were expecting. We were due just two days apart. I loved that little one, talked to her, rubbed my belly. Then, just a few weeks later, on December 23rd, 2002, she (I felt she was a girl) was gone. It was so painful.  It was much worse than a live birth.  I was delivering death.  It hurt so badly, and I was so sad.  Because of all the pain I was having, I went to the ER.  They were so kind to us.  It was Christmas day, our first Christmas since our marriage, and I was in getting a D & C.  I do not regret that.  When the pain was gone, I could deal with my grief a lot better.  I was only 8 1/2 weeks pregnant, but that was a very hard loss. We named her Faith because we felt that was what God wanted to teach us through it all. We were surrounded with love and support during that time. We had a private ceremony, and buried her in a heart shaped box on my parent's property. It is now a precious memory, and a joy to know that she has a life greater than I could ever provide her. I am very happy for my little Faith, and I will meet her someday! Just a few months later, we were expecting again. My sister was still pregnant. ♥ We met with our midwife for the first time on July 29th. It was Faith's due date!! On a day that could've been very sad for us, we heard Isaiah's heartbeat for the first time. There are no words to describe what that meant to me!