"Pushing" for a Gentle Birth

My husband and I have had 4 beautiful all natural water births, and are looking forward to our 5th in the next few weeks.  If you've read my birth plan, then you may have noticed #6: "I will not start pushing until my body starts pushing on its own. If I get an undesirable urge to push before then, my midwife will check to make sure I am fully dilated. Ideally, I will try not to ever push to make sure the baby comes out as easy as possible."  I want to use this BWB post to talk about my experiences with pushing.

Isaiah still in water seconds after his birth

With Isaiah, our first born, I pushed with every contraction as soon as I found out I was 10 cms dilated.  I felt like I was pushing against a brick wall.  Now, I know that I should've waited until my body started pushing on its own.  Of course, my midwife wasn't intending on my forced pushing.  She told me to push if it felt good.  I was pushing because I thought that my baby would get into my arms faster if I did.  Well, that pushing lasted for 4 hours.  Isaiah was fine.  Our midwife kept a close watch on his heartrate, and when he started crowning, she kept a close eye on his skin coloring.  The only issue he had was that the plates in his skull were very overlapped, and even caused the roof of his mouth to not be smooth which effected his ability to latch on well.  Isaiah does not have hemophilia, and I am so glad because I think all that time in the birth canal may have caused problems if he had hemophilia.  As it was, the overlapping issue was resolved in a few days, and he was just fine.

Right after Ana's birth

Ana, our second, was another story!  I didn't mention in the previous paragraph that Isaiah was 9#8oz at birth!  Well, Ana was only 7#4oz.  That is a significant difference!  My midwife would not tell me when to push.  She said, I would let them know when it was time for me to push.  So, I waited.  It didn't take long at all until all of a sudden I was pushing with a contraction.  It just happened!  I wasn't trying to push or anything.  It was a natural response to my body's birthing process.  Within 6 minutes, she was born.  It was amazing!  Ana is a carrier of severe hemophilia A like I am, and did not have any issues at birth.

Elijah hours after delivery

Our third birth, Elijah was very different from Ana's birth.  If you read his story, you'll get a better idea.  One thing I did right was that I "tested" pushing with a few contractions, not a lot, just a very little start of a push.  It did not feel right.  So, I did not push.  I only started pushing when it felt right.  Which brings up the issue of epidurals.  Yes, they occasionally have their place, but they should be avoided for so many reasons.  Knowing when it feels right to push being one of those main reasons.  I learned in my first birth, that you can push too soon even after you're dilated to 10cms!  Ok, off the soapbox and back to Eli's birth.  When it did feel right to push, I quickly realized that this baby was BIG.  He wasn't coming out easy like Ana did, and I didn't want him to be in the birth canal as long as Isaiah was.  So, I P-U-S-H-E-D harder than I had ever pushed before!  When his head came out, my body rested as it always does.  It felt like forever!!  When I began pushing again and his shoulders and torso came out, I thought he was totally out, and went to scoop him into my arms.  "One more push! one more push!" my midwife and husband said.  I gave another little push, and that big 10#14oz bubba was in my arms!!  He was pink, and had no bruising at all.  If you read this blog, you know that Eli is our hemohiliac.  We didn't know until he was 4 months old that he had hemophilia.  I believe with all my heart that God's grace, the gentleness of his birth and my management of the pushing stage of his birth are credited with his safety.  It blows me away that our severe hemophiliac was the one that was almost 11#s at birth! 

Malakai just minutes after delivery

Malakai's birth was a breeze.  Like Ana, I didn't have to actually push at all.  My body just pushed him right out.  He was only 7#12oz.  He did have a meconium issue after his birth, and he was fine once they got it all suctioned out of him.  If you would like to see one of our births for yourself, we have a very non-graphic video of Malakai's birth on youtube.  His birth was the first one that we planned in the knowledge that our baby had a 50% chance of having hemophilia. 

All of our births have been water births.  I am a true believer in water birth.  I think it is a major cause of the gentleness of our births.  I have blogged about this before in:  Why I Love Water Birth:part 1 and Why I Love Water Birth: part 2.

The conclusions I draw from all my various pushing experiences are these:

1.  Don't push just because you are 10 cms.

2.  Focus on relaxing and staying "on top" of the intensity of your contractions.  If you are working with your body, your body will naturally start pushing on it's own, and you may not have to push at all.

3.  Only push when it feels right.  Sometimes, with very large babies, it may be necessary to push with your body.  I personally do not believe it is good for a hemophiliac to stay in the birth canal for a long time based on seeing what happened to Isaiah's head.  So, I do believe I did the right thing in pushing very hard with my body to get Eli out as soon as possible.

4.  Being as relaxed as possible, and in a position that allows gravity to help the process helps the pushing stage be much easier on mom and baby.

Thank you for your interest in Bubble Wrapped Birth.  As always, please don't just take my word for anything.  Do your own research.  Talk to your doctor or midwife.  This is what I believe and what I know works for me.  However, I do hope I have sparked some thoughts about the 2nd stage of labor that you may not have had before.  Thanks for reading!

Why I Love Water Birth: part 2

Before Ana could start walking, we were looking at two happy pink lines again!  We had been in IL for Isaiah's birth, MI for Ana's birth, and now we were in CA looking for a midwife.  We couldn't possibly have more than one baby in any state, could we?  We found the best midwife for us, and began planning another home water birth. 

I knew I was in labor at about 1:30am.  I labored in bed for a while on my side.  I got on my knees and leaned over a chair, all the time moaning through contractions.  By now, Isaiah was about 1 month from being 4, and Ana was about 2 months from being 2.  I had practiced these birth noises with them so they wouldn't be scared when the time came.  It worked.  They weren't scared at all.  I had nice breaks between contractions too, which really helped.  Isaiah wanted to help me so badly, but kept getting in people's way.  So, I asked him if he could hug me through my contractions.  He was my doula for this birth!   

The pushing stage for this birth was way more intense than it had been with Ana's birth.  For the first time during active labor, I called out to God, thanked Him for this baby, and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13).  When it was time to push, I pushed like I had never pushed before.  His head came out.  There was a small break before the next contraction (seemed like forever!).  Then, I was pushing again.  He was so huge that I thought he was completely out when he was only out to his waist!  Elijah was 10lbs 14oz!  I couldn't believe it!  His birth was so gentle, and he was a beautiful chubby newborn.  Four months later, we found out he had severe hemophilia.  I am so thankful that we had such a gentle birth for him.  I believe the water birth was a major reason why he was so big and did not have any bleeds or bruising, and I did not tear at all. 

By the time we were expecting our fourth little one, we knew that I was a carrier of hemophilia.  I have written all these stories before, and have recently posted the story of "Our Journey".  Please read it to get the full story of how we began birth planning with the knowledge of hemophilia being a possiblility.  We moved from CA to NY when I was 6 months pregnant.  I found a midwife, and we started planning a homebirth with the goal of drawing cord blood and transporting the specimen from home to a lab.  That plan did not work out.  We had to consider a hospital birth.  I met with the perinataltologist.  I explained to her that water birth was the safest, most gentle way I knew how to birth, our large hemophiliac baby had been born in water at home with no problems at all, and I insisted that our fourth baby's birth was just as gentle.  Malakai was the first water birth ever for this hospital.  His birth was so gentle that his water never broke until his shoulders were born. 

I know I've shared all these stories in length before, but I wanted to give a fresh review to illustrate where I'm coming from with water birth.  Based on my experience, I love water birth because:

• It calms my pain and discomfort.
• It relaxes my body.
• It softens my perineum, and helps me not tear.
• Because I am so relaxed, I can get in the best possible position for my pelvis to be at maximum size.
• I can easily move to different positions at will.
• Because I am so relaxed, my whole body opens to birth my baby as gently as possible.
• It gives me my own space, and I feel safe. 
• Being in the water helps me feel covered, and I don't feel so exposed and vulnerable.

I am now 13 1/2 weeks pregnant with our fifth baby.  Malakai is 16 months old, Eli is 3, Ana is 5, and Isaiah is 7.  In about 5 weeks we will find out if this baby is a boy or a girl.  There is no question that we will be planning another water birth.  We hope to have a home birth, but if we must consider a hospital, we will plan a water birth there.  Hemophilia babies need a gentle birth even more than other babies do, and I am so thankful that we already practiced such a gentle way of birthing even before we knew hemophilia was a part of our lives.

Why I Love Water Birth: part 1

I first heard of water birth when I was a teenager.  My first thought was "That's crazy!  Won't the baby drown?!".  I really didn't think of it much more until I was married and we were expecting our firstborn.  The first midwife we interviewed told us that she almost exclusively did water births.  She told us that water birth was a lot gentler on both the baby and the mom.  "For the baby, the difference is like waking up at your own leisure on a Saturday morning vs. being woken up with an alarm clock on Monday morning."  The baby is born from warm fluid into warm fluid, and is gently lifted up to the air, and the baby is not stimulated to breathe until he/she comes in contact with the air.  The warm water helps mom relax, and her body opens up more.  The warm water is also great pain relief, and allows the mom to move to different positions effortlessly.  We were impressed with all the benefits she shared with us, and decided to go with a water birth.

Our first birth was at home.  My husband (Matt) and I were in the birth pool together.  Isaiah was crowning for an hour.  Our midwife kept close watch on his heart rate and skin color which was fine, and Matt played with his hair.  After 4 hours of pushing, Isaiah was born into his daddy's hands.  Matt passed him to me, and I lifted him up out of the water.  He was big!  9lbs 8oz, broad shoulders and big chest.  No wonder he took so long to come out!

Baby #2 was also born at home.  Things went a lot faster this time.  I knew I was in labor around 11:00pm and she was born at 1:30am.  My mom called our midwife, Matt got the pool ready, and I was laboring on the toilet, tailorsitting on the floor, hanging on people. . .  I couldn't wait for the pool to be ready!!  Finally, it was warm enough and full enough for me to get in.  Ahhhhhhhhh. . . .   instant relief!  My sister acted as my doula, and my sis-in-law was there to take care of Isaiah (then 2 years old).  Matt and I were in the pool.  My midwife would not tell me when to push.  She said I would tell them when it was time to push.  Suddenly, one contraction caused me to bear down!  I told my sis-in-law to wake up Isaiah.  He wanted us to wake him up for the birth.  She did.  She told him that the baby was coming.  He got up, unzipped his pajamas, and started taking off his diaper, and climbing in the pool!  My midwife said it was fine.  So, we let him in.  Within 6 minutes of the first pushing contraction, Ana was born into my own hands.  Matt was holding Isaiah, my sister was right outside the pool next to me.  With one hand on my sister's shoulder, and one hand on Ana's head, I told everyone when she was crowning, when her head was out, and brought her up out of the water when she was born.  She was pink and looked so little at 7lbs 4oz (2lbs less than her brother was!)