A Simple Guide to "Bubble Wrapping" Your Birth:

We put bubble wrap around things that are special to us:  special Christmas decorations, fine china, crystal, figurines, and other treasures.  There is nothing more special than finding out you are carrying a new life inside your body.  You don't want anything to harm your most precious treasure of all: your baby.  "Bubble Wrapped Birth" means a birth planned with care to keep your baby safe through the birth process. 

But, how? 
Here are six key points to planning your own bubble wrapped birth:

1.  Be healthy. Making healthy choices and having a healthy diet is the foundation for a safe birth. This link is a good place to start.

2.  Know your body.  Understand your unique health facts:  birth history, factor level, bleeding history, etc.

3.  Know your baby.  Study fetal development.  Understand the impact that prenatal health, gestational weeks, and birth choices make on your baby.

4.  Understand birth.  Research the natural birth process, what things hinder the process, how to work with your body, how to safely deal with labor pains, and when interventions are truly necessary. Click here for an excellent resource to get you started!!

5.  Know your options in your area.  Is there a birth center available to you?  What options are offered at your local hospital:  midwives, water birth, doulas, competent NICU, etc.?  Are there good home birth options with competent care and medical backup such as support from your HTC with cord blood testing, etc.?  What policies will you have to work with at each birthing location?

6.  If you are unsatisfied with the options in your area, work to change them!!

"Badge of Honor"

In my last post called Jealousy, one of my friends used the phrase "badge of honor" in her comment. 

"It's [hemophilia is] kinda a "badge of honor" in your family. It's seen as something that makes Eli & Silas unique & special. They get more/different attention than the others."

I am so grateful that my friend was so honest with me.  This phrase will not get out of my head!  It kind of haunts me, but also probes a lot of good thought. 

I hate that I have given that impression to others, but especially that I may be giving that impression to my precious children.  Having hemophilia is not a badge of honor in our family.  However, if it is perceived as such to any of our children, there's a problem. 

Hemophilia is a big part of our lives.  We have chosen to make it a big part of our lives.  Matt quit his teaching career to go to nursing school because he wants to work directly with other children with bleeding disorders.  I've started Bubble Wrapped Birth, and have big plans for it's growth in the future.  Because of these things, it would be easy for our children to think that hemophilia makes someone more special to us.  This is a problem. 

Some other moms suggested that I let the other children be involved with prophy.  What a simple idea that makes a big difference!  We tried it this morning, and it was great!  Since hemophilia is a big part of our lives, we need to let everyone have a hand in it.  I did not see one ounce of jealousy or negative feelings at all this morning because prophy wasn't just about Eli.  It was also a special time for Isaiah and me.  I am getting it.  Slowly, but surely, I'm getting it! 

Now, back to the "badge of honor" idea. . .

Our children all have a badge of honor just because they are our children.  They don't have to have a unique physical condition or talent or place in history or birth order to be special.  They are special just because they are exactly who God made them.  What I am learning from this conversation is that I need to be careful to communicate that everyday in my words and actions because that is what really matters.  My children will not remember "what mommy meant", but rather "what mommy said or did and how it made me feel". 

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts with me, and being a part of my growth as a mom!

 

Jealousy

Over the past few weeks, I have learned that our oldest son, Isaiah, has some jealousy about hemophilia.  We talked about it a lot. I asked him to draw pictures of what he'd like about having hemophilia and what he wouldn't like.  He liked the idea of getting prophy and going to the HTC for an appointment just for him.  He didn't like the idea of getting his blood drawn, though!  Then, he drew what he liked about Eli and Silas having hemophilia and what he didn't like about them having it.  He liked nothing about their having it, and didn't like how Eli couldn't play with them when he got prophy.  He told me that he felt Eli got all the attention because of his hemophilia.   

I was so sorry and heartbroken that he was carrying these feelings with him.  He never acts like he's jealous.  He is very protective of Eli and Silas because they have hemophilia, and he was so pleased for Eli when he heard that Silas had hemophilia too.


So, our conversation got me thinking.  Yes, some of us need factor, but whether we need to get prophy or not does not make us who we are.  I talked to Isaiah about it, and he listened.  Now, I am trying to pay closer attention to what is unique and special in each one of my children's lives instead of our current "affected vs. unaffected" tally.  I am still new at this and I'm learning.  And right now, I am being reminded that. . .

I am not only a hemo mom, I am a mother.