Written 5 days before my baby was born at 42 weeks

I can't believe I haven't written since April!  So much has been on my heart, but I couldn't write about it.  What is on my heart now, I must write about because as soon as I have this baby, I will certainly forget most of it.

 I am 41 weeks and almost 2 days along with baby #6.  I am healthy.  She is healthy.  We've already named her Evangeline.  My mom is here.  My Grandma ("Grama") is here.  One of my best friends is in town, and is able to come support me for this birth.  I have a loving supportive husband.  Our older 5 children are so precious and are very eager to welcome their newest sister.  I have a great church, midwife, and my closest friend at the church is my midwife's assistant.  I have so much to be happy about.  So, why do I feel like this?

Today, I recognized it.  This feels like postpartum depression before I'm postpartum.

The weekend before Evangeline's birth, my friend
gave me this beautiful daffodil henna.

Our last 2 babies were born 2 days before their due dates.  That and the fact that this is my 6th birth made me assume this baby would be born right around or before her due date.  I won't make that mistake again!  My EDD (estimated due date) was August 13th.  Since I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted so badly to have her on my little brother's birthday (August 5th).  That day came and went.  I was disappointed.  Then, my older brother reminded me that my nephew's birthday was on the 10th.  Oh this is it!!!  I can give him a special little birthday buddy! . . . No.  That day came and went.  I was so disappointed.  Well, one of my best friends' birthday was just 5 days later on the 15th.  No birth. . . Ugh!  The biggest stress on me was that my husband was going back to nursing school on the 19th.  I just had to have her by then!  But, no.  I sent him off to class. . . still pregnant.  Everyday seems to last a week.  I get contractions.  Then, they stop.  I walk 2 or 3 times a day.  Nothing.  What is wrong with me?!  I know my body successfully got 5 babies out before.  So, surely this one will come out eventually?!

24 Weeks and No Midwife

I haven't felt like a good example for BWB lately.  It's not that I am behaving recklessly or carelessly.  It's just that I have no professional caregiver right now, and I would never recommend that to any of my followers.  It's complicated.  Matt and I are keeping track of lots of things at home: blood pressure, blood sugar, oxygen, pulse, heart sounds, respiratory, fundal height, swelling (none at all), and urinalysis.  We can't hear Evangeline's heart rate on his stethoscope yet, and plan to get a fetoscope soon. Her movements get more frequent and stronger everyday, though. I need to do better on my diet and water intake as usual.  I eat so slowly and because there are so many other things pressing on me, I don't always eat as much as I should.  I'm working on it.  My weight gain is good.  I am 24 weeks along right now.

We've been in this position before.  When I was pregnant with Malakai, we were in a huge transition that was physically and emotionally stressful.  We ended up moving from CA to NY in my 3rd trimester, and decided on a midwife after we arrived.  Then, she couldn't help us with a home birth. So, I had to fight for the birth I wanted in the hospital.  It worked.  Malakai was the first water birth in that hospital, and it was nearly unattended (I say this as a good thing)!  It is good for me to reflect on that because it reminds me of how God has taken care of us in the past, and I can trust He will take care of us again this time.  That being said, I still firmly believe that his birth would've been handled better at home.  He had a meconium issue that you can see in the video below.  
At home, we would've suctioned and if he needed breaths, we have a warm tray (for a warm flat surface) ready right there so that he wouldn't have had to leave me at all and we wouldn't have had to cut his cord.  When a baby isn't breathing, he especially needs all the oxygen from his cord blood.  However, we were in the hospital.  So, they weren't set up to handle things like that.  I can't really complain as many many things were handled the way we wanted and they didn't give me much trouble at all.  We had zero separation, he slept with me and never in the crib thing, and when they were supposed to have him in the crib while we were being transported from delivery to recovery, they supported my decision to carry Malakai skin to skin inside my gown under blankets.  It's cold in the hospital!!  All things considered, we have a lot to be thankful for with our hospital birth experience.

A homebirth midwife such as a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) is my preference of caregiver.  I personally believe that CPMs are better trained in the natural birthing process, and how to most effectively care for complications without the restraints of hospital protocols.  The care they provide prevents most complications in the first place.  On the other hand, they are skilled to know when things are not safe to stay home and when to transport to the nearest hospital.  They are passionate about what they do, and are not motivated by money or time (There are exceptions, of course.), but rather are motivated to provide customized care to mom and baby/babies.  Of course, I would never argue that CPMs are the only ones that provide this level of care.  I just feel like I have the best chance of getting the care I want, if I choose a midwife such as a CPM.

Because of the ridiculous legal situation with CPMs in our area, I can't share any of the details you may be wondering about.  I will say that I will continue to take care of myself, improve my diet and water intake, and we will plan Evangeline's bubble wrapped birth as soon as we can.  There are some options we are considering.  I hate that I can't just be open and share all the details with you.  Please just pray for wisdom in these decisions that need to be made very soon.  Please pray that the best midwife for this birth will be available and we will be able to relax and just enjoy the next few months before Evangeline's birth.

Thank you so much for your support.  I know that there are many BWB mamas who would make very different choices than I am right now.  I completely respect that, and I hope you can do the same for me in return. 

Home Birth, Midwives, and The Law

Silas in our herb bath still attached to his placenta (in a bowl next to him)

When you birth at home (assuming you have a great midwife), the focus is what is in the best interest of you and the baby, no strings attached.  At a hospital, even if you have excellent care, there are often hospital protocols and impatient medical personnel that you must choose to appease or fight.  I've had a great hospital birth, but even so, my midwife had to deal with a bunch of junk in the hallway to fight for my desires instead of just focusing on me and the baby.  There were things that happened to Malakai that we did not want, but had to because the hospital said so:  eye goop, vitamin k, ridiculous hearing test, not going home when we wanted to, etc.  At the hospital, the baby belongs to the hospital.  At home, we can just be a family.  Having a homebirth is not about having a fun or amazing birth experience for the mom.  It is a choice we make because we believe that is where our baby can have the safest most gentle birth without being cumbered about with much hospital protocols.  Yes, complications can arise, but they don't happen as much at home.  Unnecessary interventions (often because of hospital protocols or impatient medical personnel) CAUSE complications that require more interventions.  The most common are inductions, and timing labor and delivery to the extent that they do.  There are so many more, but most women don't even know they are wrong because they've never been taught otherwise.

Malakai on the scale after his pretty amazing hospital birth.
It makes me sad that all his beautiful vernix is gone here.
He was covered with it when he was born!

Certified professional midwives in states such as Indiana, practice "underground".  They must if they are going to help women who are having homebirths.  They can be extensively trained and certified, but the state simply does not allow them to obtain a license.  This legal situation is wrong, and those who act against it do so because they believe they are doing what is right in spite of the law.  This is much like how many people would respond to an anti-gun law.  I can tell you without a doubt that there would be countless people who would refuse to bend to that law and would not allow the government to disarm them.  Another example would be if it became illegal to carry a Bible or meet as a church.  Christians would then have to make a choice to obey the law or continue to follow their beliefs in spite of it.

In the case of Carol Velasquez, the deputy prosecutor claims that the issue is with illegally administering prescription drugs.  Those are the charges against Carol.  If Carol was carrying the drugs she is accused of carrying, she is in good company.  It would be very hard to find a midwife who doesn't carry Pitocin (for example). These midwives are simply arming themselves for any possible complication that may arise and the natural remedies are found to be insufficient.  Homebirth midwives should have the legal safety to care for their clients the best they can, but that is not the case at this time.  So, they give their clients the very best care while putting themselves on the line.

What needs to happen is that people need to speak up on the issue of homebirth freedom.  Midwives need to have the freedom to provide optimal care without the threat of the nightmare Carol Velasquez is going through right now.

Honestly, my husband put it in much better words than I did:

"Here is the thing, it is not a simple black and white issue. Is it technically illegal for a midwife to administer drugs such as Pitocin? I would have to answer yes. However, in order for midwives to be able to give excellent care to their clients and avoid certain complications they NEED to be able to use these drugs. The real problem is that it SHOULD be legal for CPMs to be able to use these drugs. By not allowing them to use them we are forcing midwives to either choose to compromise their clients care by forcing them to wait until they get to the hospital to receive treatment which in some cases may be too late when it could have been resolved easily at home by the midwife or take the risk because they are more concerned about the welfare of the baby and mother over the governing legislative body. Most midwives will choose the latter. It really is no different than a missionary going into another country where Christianity is outlawed, and under the pretense of being an English teacher, using that as a way to get into the country to teach them about Jesus. As Christians, we know it is TECHNICALLY illegal for them to teach Jesus and carry/distribute Bibles, but yet we encourage them, support them, pray for them, and fight for them if they get caught, because we believe it is the right thing regardless of what a governing body has declared. The same principle is true in this situation. The problem lies in the legislation, and I think some serious changes need to made at that level so midwives are not forced to make the sacrifices they do for the good of their clients."

 ~Matt Reeves

Support Carol Velasquez CPM!

BWB family, I am posting this link hoping that some of you would be able to join me to support Carol Velasquez. Carol is a certified professional midwife who has over 20 years experience providing optimal care for women, babies, and families. She is a dear friend to me and my family. ~Sarah

PLEASE READ:

"On March 28th, 2013 Carol Velasquez, CPM was indicted by a grand jury for practicing midwifery during her time in Indianapolis. Carol is a Certified Professional Midwife with over 20 years experience attending births. The care that Carol provided her clients was unparalleled by the Obstetric community and hospitals in Indiana. The women she attended received prenatal care according to the same schedule and yet she spent an average of 700% more time with us! This was acheived by scheduling 2 hour long appointments (as opposed to the 15 minutes OB/GYN's allot for patients.) She provided women with detailed nutritional counseling, recommended supplements according to the individual needs of the mother, and practical as well as emotional support to women facing difficult circumstances (myself included). Because the State of Indiana refuses to license CPM's Carol put her freedom on the line for each of the families she helped. Let's show our support for this brave woman on Tuesday morning as she surrenders herself to the court!"

*I am going to try my best to be there. I may have all my children with me. If you are in or near Indianapolis and want to help, please meet me at the courthouse on Tuesday morning (4/2/13)! If you can't be there, please share this event in as many homebirth friendly circles as you can, and please please pray. ~Sarah

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE EVENT ON FACEBOOK

Thank you all so much for reading this blog.  This is an unusual post calling you to action, but I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important.

-----> PLEASE SEE UPDATED POST HERE!

A Letter to My Uncle Patrick

70 years ago now, my sweet grandma carried a precious baby boy in her womb.  He was her first baby.  Grandma and Grandpa had been married for a couple years, and I can just imagine the dreamy excitement they shared about their first child.

Then, on St. Patrick's Day, Grandma went into premature labor.  I believe she was in her 2nd trimester.  They called the doctor, but things happened too quickly, and there was nothing they could do to save him.

He passed away before his birth.  Grandma saw that he was a boy.  Things were so different back then.  They never named him, and Grandma was never able to properly grieve.  Because he was born on St Patrick's Day, my mom started referring to him as Patrick.  If I could send a message to my dear Uncle Patrick in heaven, this is what I would say:

_______________________________________________________________

Dear Uncle Patrick, 

You may or may not know who I am, but I know you.  You had a very short life, but your world was my grandma.  That's a pretty sweet world.  All you knew in life was the warmth and love of your mother's womb.  Then, you suddenly went from her womb to the warm loving arms of Jesus.  You stayed in her heart, though.  Your life has been celebrated for all these years.  Since your birth, Grandma gave birth to one more boy and four girls.  You are also uncle to 13 nieces and nephews, and I am carrying your 37th great niece/nephew!  She's a girl.  We're naming her Evangeline Emma.

Our first baby didn't make it to our arms either.  I don't know if I was carrying a girl or a boy, but I felt like it was a girl, and we named her Faith.  I immediately felt an even stronger bond with both my grandmothers when I was going through that.  They had both lost babies.  They gave me comfort and strength during that dark time.  Have you met Faith?  I think about what she's doing up in heaven often.  I bet you're a really fun uncle to her.

We all miss you.  You are so loved.  I am so glad God blessed this family with you.


Your loving niece,

Sarah

_____________________________________________________________

~ Here's some pictures of Grandma when she was a young mom of a bunch of little ones. ~

I love her style in this one.  She's the cutie on the left.  

8 Things I've Learned about Love

I haven't been married for a really long time, but Matt and I have been married for 10 1/2 years, and we are still happy.  In this first decade of marriage, I've learned some things about love.  I want to share what I've learned with you.

1.  A woman needs to be cherished.  That's how you won her heart, and that's how you're going to keep her heart.

2.  A man needs to be believed in.  He is only as good as you think he is.  I have seen Matt be strong and fearless when I believe in him, push him toward his dreams and encourage him to reach his goals.  I have also seen him wilt and be depressed when I cut him down, discourage his dreams, and criticize his goals.  

3.  Love is work.  If it were easy, it wouldn't really be love.  Just like a birthing mother who works hard to receive the amazing reward of her precious baby, love must work hard through the difficult times.  Coming through those hard times stronger is a precious reward and makes all the work worth it.

4.  Fighting is sometimes good.  For me, our discussions need to reach an emotional level on both sides in order for them to inspire a change of heart in me.

5.  If your children see/hear you fighting, make sure they see you make things right with each other.  

6.  Dates are essential.  I am typing these words desperate for a date with Matt.  I need time with him.  I don't need him to buy me anything.  I don't care if all we do is go hang out at the library or walk around the mall.  I just need him away from the kids, away from the house, away from studying and work and clinicals and everything.  I just need him to focus on me, and me to focus on him without any distractions.  It's probably really good to have to wait a little for it.  We need to crave the time together instead of just taking it for granted.  

7.  I need God.  When things are hard, too hard to have a productive discussion with Matt, I need to run to my Jesus.  I can let it all out to him, cry, scream, yell, ask why.  He already sees it all in my heart.  All I'm doing is being honest on the outside about what He sees on the inside.  I am not just crying, screaming, yelling and asking why because I'm angry, then stomping away.  I am there for help.  I am there for answers.  I wait.  I calm down.  I rest.  Then, I can listen.  I find His answers in His Word, His love letter to me.  I read His promises to me and find hope to get up and go on.

8.  Love is worth it.

~ I love you, Matt Reeves. ~

How to talk to your older child about your younger child with hemophilia

Yesterday, I wrote a post about what I wish I would've said to our oldest child when our 3rd was diagnosed with hemophilia.  It was a very personal post from my heart, and I hope it might help another new parent who may not know what to say.  Today's post is straight to you, Mom or Dad.  I wanted to directly share what I've learned about talking to children about hemophilia.  I hope this helps you the way I needed to be helped back then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are 5 keys to having a successful talk with your child about hemophilia:

1. Explain the facts in simple terms.
2. Build their confidence as a great big brother/sister.
3. Verbally accept responsibility as mom/dad to handle whatever hemophilia dishes out.
4. Give them age appropriate jobs pertaining to protecting and taking care of their baby brother/sister.
5. End the conversation in a way that empowers and encourages your child.  Hemophilia will be a big part of his/her life too, and he/she needs you to believe in their ability to handle his/her role.

Be careful.  When you are new to hemophilia (when you are new to anything, really) it can be so scary.  You may unintentionally put way too much pressure on your older child because you are so afraid of your younger child getting hurt.  When the baby gets hurt, take a minute to breathe.  Calm down.  It will be okay.  When you are ready, calmly and respectfully ask the older child what happened.  Do not speak down to them or yell at them.  They need to be able to trust you to tell you what happened without fear.  Treat your older child as an important part of the team.

Things to NEVER say to your child:

1. Yell or scream about anything.  It never ever helps!
2. "What were you thinking?  You could have given him a bleed!  Do you want him to have to go to the hospital and have to get his medicine for a bleed?!"
3. "Don't hit his head!  He could get a bleed in his brain and even die!"

The idea is to empower your child, not heap shame on your child.  He/she will carry that shame for years and even life if they don't heal from it.  Shame will not help them be a better sibling or a better person.  Don't put the heavy burden of bleeds/death on his/her little shoulders.  Your child needs to learn how to be kind and treat others with respect, hemophiliac or not.  You should teach your children about what a bleed is and what factor does, but hurling the threat of a bleed at your little one in the heat of a crisis will only make things worse.

Great things to say to your child:

1. "Please tell me what happened."; "Thank you so much for telling me."
2. "Remember to be very careful with his/her joints."
3. "Be extra careful with his/her head."
4. "I know you didn't want to hurt your little brother/sister." -or- "I know you are sorry for what happened." -or- "You know not to treat people like that.  Please go make things right with your brother/sister right away."
5. "It's going to be okay."
6. "I love you."

Mom or Dad, this is an intimidating and sometimes difficult journey, but you will learn quickly.  Things get so much easier when you start treating your child at home.  When you are empowered, your children get empowered.  Love your children.  Teach them what is right.  You can do this and you are ALL on your way to becoming experts.  It's going to be okay.

What I wish I had known to say to our oldest child without hemophilia when our 3rd was diagnosed:

Eli and Isaiah around the time Eli was diagnosed
 with severe hemophilia (Spring 2008)

"Hey, buddy.  I want to talk to you about your baby brother.  Daddy and I just found out that he has something called hemophilia.  I don't know a lot about hemophilia yet, but I am going to read some books and talk to some people who do know a lot about it so I can learn.  You will learn a lot about it too.

"Sometimes, hemophilia might seem a little scary.  See, when Eli gets a boo boo or bumps his head too hard, we might have to take him in to the hospital so they can give him his medicine.  He may even get hurt when you two are just playing.

I want you to know that that's just how hemophilia is and you don't need to worry.

"Treat him the way you know you should treat anyone.  Remember:
-No hitting with your hands or anything in your hands.
-No kicking.
-No throwing toys at anyone unless you are playing catch with something soft.

"As Eli grows up, you will be silly boys together, have pretend sword fights, run, and play super heroes.  Don't let his hemophilia scare you.  Mommy and Daddy will take good care of you all.  Eli is so blessed to have you as his big brother.  You are already teaching him so many wonderful things!

"I have one new job for you, okay?  If Eli gets hurt and you see what happened, it is really important that you tell Mommy or Daddy or another grown-up exactly what happened.  You need to be really brave and tell us even if YOU hurt him.  Don't worry about getting in trouble.  We will be very thankful to you for telling us the truth.  Then, you can help take care of him.

Eli and Isaiah August 2012

"Here's some great things you can do to help:
-Go get an ice pack from the freezer.
-Put on one of his favorite shows to cheer him up.
-Get him his favorite toy or blanket.

"I know this is a lot to understand right now.  You can always ask me or Daddy anything you want to know.  If you ever feel sad or angry, you can always tell us and we will listen.  You are a very special little boy, and I am so glad Eli has you."

A Special Prophy for Nursing Class

Eli's reward for being so brave

Today, Eli let Matt give him prophy in front of his nursing class (37 students + 1 teacher).  When Matt first asked him if he'd like to do that, Eli was very excited!  He was excited this morning before we went.  Then, when we got there, we discovered that we forgot the numbing cream.  We finally got him to agree to do it for a special surprise afterwards.  Then he saw how many people were in the class and hid in the next room while Matt was setting up.  He didn't realize there would be so many people watching. He got pretty uneasy, and wanted to go home.  He hid behind me when we came in the room.  Isaiah was right by his side the whole time, encouraging him and being a brother.  When it was time, I sat him up on the desk.  He was still uneasy and wanted to leave, but he sat still.  The class was so sweet.  They did all they could to make him more comfortable.  They gave him candy, were calm and encouraging to him.  It worked.  :)  He stuck his chest out and Matt rubbed on the chloroprep.  Then, he kept his chest big and turned his head to the side to be sure not to breathe on it.  He kept his chest big when Matt put the needle in.  He is used to numbing cream.  One of the students asked him if it hurt, and he nodded yes, but stayed focused and still.  Matt explained each step, talked about hemophilia, and emphasized the importance of sterility during the treatment.  I was able to say a few things too.  Eli didn't want to say anything, but he was free to speak if he'd wanted to speak.  I was encouraged that one student asked if they should wear a mask to access ports.  After the teacher answered her question, I told her that any effort made by a nurse to keep a port safe from infection means the world to parents.  A mask, extra alcohol swabs, careful sterile/clean technique earns a lot of respect in the eyes of parents, not to mention the obvious benefit of protecting the patient from port infection.

After Matt de-accessed and I was holding pressure with the gauze,  many in the class came up to thank Eli and compliment him on how well he did.  One girl even gave him some money!

I am very grateful that we had the opportunity to share prophy and our knowledge and experience with ports with the nursing class today.  They were very grateful to us too.  I am so proud of Eli for being so brave even when he was a little uneasy at first and had to be accessed without numbing cream.  I think he helped a room full of nurses be better nurses.

Silence Broken

Eli (5)

I haven't been able to write for months, but now I'm finally ready.  I think I was overwhelmed by the article in the paper about us.  We were so honored to have been asked for an interview for the local paper.  The sweet journalist came to our home, asked all about our family, and a lot about hemophilia.  I guess I should've expected it, and it's not a bad thing.  It was a very good article.  I just hoped that it wouldn't be all about hemophilia.  Hemophilia is a part of our lives, a big part even, but our family is about so much more.

We get up to music most every morning, have breakfast together, see Matt off to nursing school, hope to get a call about an LPN job at the hospital, do chores, have school, eat lunch, clean up, play, laugh, watch shows together, read books, go to church, take Ana to ballet, take Isaiah to Cub Scouts, have so much fun when we are out together, do prophy, and deal with bumps and bleeds when they come.

Silas (1)

When Eli was first diagnosed with hemophilia, I was so confused and scared.  I needed to ask God, "Why?!  What is going on?!"  I needed to cry.  I needed to lean on others.  I began to be empowered as soon as our HTC met with us.  Our nurse gave us a copy of Laurie Kelley's "Raising a Child with Hemophilia: A Practical Guide for Parents".  They gave us forms to fill out to go to the NHF annual meeting in Denver.  Richard, our nurse, told us, "YOU will be the ones telling the doctors and nurses about hemophilia.  You are your child's greatest advocate."  He showed such confidence in us even though we understood so little of what was happening at the time.  That kind of treatment is so powerful.  It changed us and we are forever grateful to Richard.  When it came time for Eli to start prophy, Richard trained us better than nurses are trained.  I can say that now that my husband is in nursing school.  As we read and read and read, talked to other parents, went to conferences, and went to clinics, our courage grew.  We were stronger all the time.  We could stand up to pretty important medical people for our children and be respected.

Isaiah (9)

Then, the newness wore off and hemophilia just became a normal part of our lives.  I think that's what is supposed to happen.  There are bigger things in my life than hemophilia.  If you met Eli, you wouldn't just be thinking about a boy with hemophilia.  He is a little guy bursting with personality as you can see in the picture above.  He has a great life.  He is so smart.  He loves school, video games, playing with his brothers and sister, and even knows how to change a wet diaper (to my surprise this week)!

Silas is our other little bruiser.  He has been through a lot in his 16 1/2 months since birth.  He is the sweetest most loving baby I've ever met.  His nature is to love you.  It was so hard before he got his port and we could treat him at home, but now that we are doing prophy at home and treat bumps and bleeds immediately, life is getting back to normal.  Here's a sweet picture (above left) from prophy today.  He kept nursing while Matt treated him.

Ana (soon to be 7)

Eli and Silas are 2 of our 6 precious children.

Isaiah is the most amazing biggest brother ever.  He is such a leader, so smart, loves caring for people, reads like crazy, is a gamer, wants to learn chess, and makes friends wherever he goes.

Ana is our tough little princess.  She holds her own in her crowd of brothers!  She loves ballet, art, music, and taking care of babies.  She is a huge help to me.  One of Ana's strengths is that she always knows what she likes and doesn't doubt herself.  I envy her for that and admire her greatly.

Malakai (3)

Malakai is a spunky little dude.  He  loves to make us laugh, loves chewing gum, and is very clear with his feelings.  He's small, but mighty!  When Silas was born, he claimed him as his baby.  He is a fun and adventurous person.


Our 6th little one is due mid-August.  We don't even know if we are having a girl or boy yet, but hope to find out in a few weeks.  We are very excited about our newest addition.

My husband, Matt, is busy with nursing school and working at the hospital.  He is even vice president of his class.  I am "just" a mom.  I have mountains of laundry (for dirty and clean).  I have dishes to get done.  I work very hard at homeschooling our children, and it has been exceptionally awesome lately!  I need to clean the house, but have a hard time finding time to do it.  I am learning and growing all the time. I mess up.  I learn.  I say I'm sorry.

My point is to illustrate that our family has a unique situation with hemophilia, but we are more than that.  Every family has their uniqueness.  We love our family.  Matt and I have been married for 10 1/2 years.  We love each other and we drive each other crazy!  We have been through so much together and it all just makes us stronger.  We have hopes, dreams, and fears just like everyone else.  I am so glad to spread the word about hemophilia, and also to let you know that our crazy little growing family is going strong.  I hope yours is too!

The "Fantastic Five" hanging out playing video games

Thankful

Often times, the scary stories get the spotlight, and understandably so.  However, I think it is very important, especially to new hemo parents, to highlight the good stories too.

Today, I was (am) terribly heartbroken for another's grief.  In my heartache, I look at Silas, who had fresh blood smeared on his face.  "Uh oh, buddy.  Come on." I said as I scooped him up and prepared his 2mls of Amicar.  He took it without any struggle.  I cleaned off his face.  The bleeding was from under his front lip, and the Amicar immediately went to work and got it under control.  Silas got down and continued to play.

A couple hours later, Eli was standing on the highchair to reach something.  He fell behind the chair, twisting his body, and hitting the floor hard.  I jumped up, scooped him up, and carried him to my bed.  Ana got the computer to start a show for him, and a bag of frozen carrots for his ankle (frozen veggies work better than ice packs!).  I put his cream on his port, and set up his factor treatment right there in my room (it really helps to have a wheelie cart).    I gave him his factor, and he's fine.

Both of these situations were quickly and easily handled because we had the tools necessary to handle them.  I couldn't be more thankful.  I am so thankful for factor.  I am so thankful for amicar.  I am so thankful for the bookcase full of medical supplies in the dining room.  I am so thankful for the excellent training we received in CA by our first nurse, Richard McGaffic.  I am so thankful that our boys have never had inhibitors, and that if they ever did, there is treatment.

Let's hold each other up through the inevitable hardships that come, but let's always take the time to count our blessings.