Lately, I've been giving a lot of thought to my parenting. We have 5 children: 2 boys without hemophilia, 2 boys with hemophilia, and one daughter who is a carrier and bruises often. Things are going much better with the jealousy issue. I am learning a lot.
Now, let's talk about boo-boos.
One of the best ways to show your children they are special is in how you care for them when they are sick or hurt. In a family where half of the children have a severe bleeding disorder, it would be easy to give our children the impression that it's not so bad if one of the "non-affected" children gets hurt. If Malakai falls and hits his head, I scoop him up, cuddle him, comfort him, get an ice pack, kiss it and make it "all better". However, if Eli falls and hits his head I do all the above, plus call the HTC, set up for factor treatment, call Matt at work, treat Eli, and Matt comes home and takes him in to the ER for a CT scan. I've caught myself and my husband saying things like, "I'm so glad it was (non-affected child) and not (hemophiliac child)!" Although it's true that it is less dangerous for a child without hemophilia to get an injury, this shouldn't be the attitude, much less spoken.
Whether our child has a bleeding disorder or not, they need to be shown compassion, love, and loving care when they are hurt. Pain is pain even without a bleed.
Some great tools for boo-boo "tlc":
-snuggles
-kisses
-ice pack
-basic first aid
-band-aids (even when not truly necessary. Besides, if you have prophy supplies, you have plenty of band-aids!!)
-breastfeeding
-special blanket or toy
-singing
-reading a book
-You know your child. What would be on your list?
I am not saying that we should baby every boo-boo. Obviously, there are levels of severity. My point is that each child needs to feel like Mommy and Daddy are sorry that THEY got hurt. They should never feel like it is a relief that it was "just them" and not their brother.
I do not see a problem with this in our family yet. Hopefully, seeing this now will prevent it from ever being a problem in the future, and be a good example to Ana if she has a family of some hemos/some non-hemos someday.
Now, let's talk about boo-boos.
One of the best ways to show your children they are special is in how you care for them when they are sick or hurt. In a family where half of the children have a severe bleeding disorder, it would be easy to give our children the impression that it's not so bad if one of the "non-affected" children gets hurt. If Malakai falls and hits his head, I scoop him up, cuddle him, comfort him, get an ice pack, kiss it and make it "all better". However, if Eli falls and hits his head I do all the above, plus call the HTC, set up for factor treatment, call Matt at work, treat Eli, and Matt comes home and takes him in to the ER for a CT scan. I've caught myself and my husband saying things like, "I'm so glad it was (non-affected child) and not (hemophiliac child)!" Although it's true that it is less dangerous for a child without hemophilia to get an injury, this shouldn't be the attitude, much less spoken.
Whether our child has a bleeding disorder or not, they need to be shown compassion, love, and loving care when they are hurt. Pain is pain even without a bleed.
Some great tools for boo-boo "tlc":
-snuggles
-kisses
-ice pack
-basic first aid
-band-aids (even when not truly necessary. Besides, if you have prophy supplies, you have plenty of band-aids!!)
-breastfeeding
-special blanket or toy
-singing
-reading a book
-You know your child. What would be on your list?
I am not saying that we should baby every boo-boo. Obviously, there are levels of severity. My point is that each child needs to feel like Mommy and Daddy are sorry that THEY got hurt. They should never feel like it is a relief that it was "just them" and not their brother.
God bless... cute kids... love them...
ReplyDeletePretty much just hugs, sympathy and LOTS of "fun" band-aids. I'm another "stick a band-aid on it even when not really necessary" kind of mom. Honestly, if sticking a band-aid on it makes the boo-boo hurt just a little bit less(even if it's purely psychological ;-}) then it's totally worth it to me. I clip coupons & look for sales on character band-aids so that my kids have a fun variety to choose from. Currently, we have Sesame Street, Phineas & Ferb, Toy Story & Super Heros. :-) Shoot! Sometimes even I use a "fun" band-aid when I have a cut. It really does make you feel better! :-D
ReplyDeleteI kiss boo boos.... even when I'm subbing at the head start pre-school, someone gets hurt & there are tears, I'll ask if they need a kiss on it :)
ReplyDeleteI then kiss my finger and put it on the owie- that way I won't get in trouble for this simple action- and the little person is comforted :)